The Hazen Family

We've moved!!

2011-01-15T20:23:00.001-08:00

Ok, we haven't really moved. Our blog has moved. :)

Check out the new blog at http://brighthope4tomorrow.blogspot.com/!!!

Still here...

2011-01-14T05:14:00.001-08:00

Yes, we are still here . . . Yes, I have LOTS of pictures to post . . . Yes, life is a little crazy right now. :)

I promise new pictures and posts in the next few days!!

Merry Christmas!!

2010-12-25T17:12:00.000-08:00

I love books!!

2010-12-14T20:07:00.000-08:00

Danielle is getting to a stage where she absolutely loves books! She'll actually sit and let me read a few pages before getting distracted, but she really enjoys "reading" them to herself in her sweet babble. I love it!!

Why?

2010-12-14T20:02:00.001-08:00

Why in the world would I take a picture of formula???

EW!!

2010-12-14T19:38:00.000-08:00

Peter: Mommy! Look what I found!! It's a big, giant worm!!

Mommy: Peter, come here so I can see it a little better. EW!! Peter!! That's a snake!! Please put it down!

It was a snake. It was dead. He did put it down - in an ant bed by the sidewalk. He said that he wanted to feed the ants. How nice of him.

Welcome to life with a curious little boy!!

Homer

2010-11-27T19:58:00.000-08:00

Homer has been a part of our family since he was just 8 weeks old. He and Peter had a rough relationship at first, but they are now best buddies!! Because Homer has had time to get used to being handled a bit more rough than he might prefer, he does better with Danielle now than he did with Peter at the beginning. Danielle is fascinated by watching Homer, and she is slowly learning how to pet him nicely. :) "Mommy ~ Please, please, please can I play outside? Homer gets to play outside! I want to go outside with him!!"

"Mommy ~ First I peed in the yard just like Homer. Then we had fun sunbathing together. Where are my pants and underwear? I throwed them inside the kitchen!"

I love Homer, and I love that the kids love Homer, but I wish Homer would recognize that his role in this household is that of soft and furry friend instead of teacher!!

***Peter decided to poop out in the yard today. Whether or not that had to do with Homer and the fact that dogs poop in the yard, I'll never know. What I do know is that our yard is not a bathroom for humans, and we are now working very hard to teach our son this!!!!!

The Stairs

2010-11-13T11:36:00.000-08:00

Guess who discovered the stairs? Guess who sits at the top and encourages her to climb?

Our house will never be the same!!

Zilker Park

2010-11-05T17:15:00.000-07:00

The weather was absolutely beautiful today - a perfect day for the park! With Aunt Amy in town to help, we loaded up the car and headed downtown to Zilker Park. After having a picnic in the grass, Peter and Danielle enjoyed just being outside. Danielle spent some time crawling in the grass for the first time while Peter and Aunt Amy played tag. We also rode the train and played for a while on the playscape. It was so nice to spend some time outside enjoying the weather and a relaxing afternoon.

sweet girl exploring things she finds in the grass

playing tag

walking down by Barton Springs Pool

Souper Salad

2010-11-04T19:15:00.000-07:00

We have been enjoying a visit from Aunt Amy from New Jersey this week. After picking her up from the airport on Tuesday, we decided to stop somewhere for lunch on the way home. I let Peter pick the place, and he enthusiasticly announced that he wanted to eat lunch at Souper Salad! Our visit on Tuesday reminded me again that Souper Salad is definitely a great place to eat with little kids. Both kids were free (3 and under eat free!), and Danielle got to try many new foods that were already cut into small little pieces. She even got to eat off of a plate for the first time!! Peter enjoyed cucumbers, grapes, sunflower seeds, olives, ham, carrots (with dip, of course), crackers, pizza, and ice cream.

Look Who's Pulling Up!!

2010-10-25T13:42:00.001-07:00

And his name shall be . . .

2010-10-23T17:39:00.001-07:00

Andrew and I attended a short little memorial service today put on by the chaplains at Scott and White. It was very small - only us and one other family. It wasn't exactly the service I would have chosen had I actually put together a funeral for my baby, but it was a nice gesture by the chaplains, and it was part of the healing process for me. Because we were not able to do a formal service for our baby, this really did provide some closure to me. No, the journey to healing isn't over. No, I don't all of a sudden feel better. Yes, my emotions are still all over the place. However, just like a funeral, there is a bit of closure to the actual event. I read a letter to the baby while I was there, and I wanted to share it with you. For the first time, I have officially named him.

October 23, 2010

To my sweet baby boy,

A month ago today, I saw your precious silhouette on the ultrasound machine at the doctor’s office. As I looked at you with tears in my eyes, I realized that you were gone. You were a precious gift given to me for such a short time. I believe that everyone is created for a purpose. My sweet little one – your purpose was fulfilled all too soon.

Although I carried you for only 16 short weeks, I loved you from the moment you were formed. Even though I will never get to hold you, never get to kiss you, never get to snuggle with you at those late night feedings, you are my son, and you will always be a part of our family.

And so today, I will give you your name. Your name will be Garrett Roy Hazen – a special name for a very special little boy. You have been named after two of your great-grandfathers who went before you to help prepare a special place for you in Heaven. I pray that they will hold you and love on you like I will never be able to do this side of eternity. I love you baby Garrett, and I will see you again someday.

Love always,
Mommy

I've thought long and hard about how I want to honor my sweet little baby boy, and this is what I've decided. Please feel free to join me in this if you want to, but do not feel obligated.

I would like to see Garrett's name written in different ways in different environments. For example, if you live near the ocean, I would love to see his name written in the sand. If you and your kids are eating cereal for breakfast, I would love to see his name written using the cereal to make the letters. If you are an artist, I would love to see his name written in a beautiful way. If you live in another city, state, or country, I would love to see his name written on a piece of paper and photographed by a special place near your home. If you wish to honor our son in this way, please feel free to be creative. By writing his name, you are showing your support and love to us as we continue to walk the road to healing.

If you wish to join us as we write Garrett's name and remember his short life, please e-mail me your pictures. My e-mail address is kara_hazen@prodigy.net.

Thank you for walking beside us this year as we've had to deal with several crisis situations - thank you for bringing us dinner, for calling and checking on us, for crying with us, for gift cards to help us buy groceries and baby items, for playing with our children, for listening, for coming to see us, and for loving us. We appreciate each and every one of you.

Pumpkin Patch 2010

2010-10-21T13:34:00.000-07:00

Last weekend we ventured out to the local pumpkin patch. A church near our house sets up TONS of pumpkins on their property. We took Peter last year, so we knew he would have fun. He had a great time touching pumpkins, picking them up, looking at the gourds, and eating popcorn. He finally picked out three little pumpkins to bring home to decorate. Danielle enjoyed it as well - her favorite part was holding pumpkins and licking them. She's definitely in the stage of "everything goes in the mouth!"

If you look closely, you can see Peter making the "Hook 'em Horns" sign with his right hand. Maybe we have a future Longhorn among us?

Check out the blog from last year - same exact picture!!

Look Mommy - I got popcorn!!

Yummy! This one tastes good!!

Can I take it home?

Today

2010-10-15T18:11:00.001-07:00

Today was an interesting day as far as emotions go. As I'm sure you understand, my emotions have been all over the place lately. I am dealing with anxiety on a level that I've never dealt with it before. It's amazing what losing a baby can do to you, especially losing a baby that you had seen on an ultrasound, felt kicking inside of you, and delivered naturally after feeling intense contractions more painful than anything else I've ever felt. I have good days and bad days, and then I have days like today - a little of both.

My cousin Holly came over this morning for a few hours to play with the kids and observe Danielle for a class she's taking. Both kids LOVED playing with her. Danielle especially loved the bubbles that Holly blew for her, and Peter was really interested in the flip camera that Holly had used to videotape Danielle playing. We had a great visit, and I can't wait for her to come back.

Did you know that today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day? I didn't either - until this week. It's amazing what you notice once you are actually thrown into it. A day to remember babies who were born to soon or gone too quickly? I had no idea. I'll tell you this, though. I'll remember this day every year now that I'm a part of it. Peter has no idea that today is a day to remember these babies, but his timing was very interesting when we had this conversation this morning...

Peter: Mommy, do you have a baby in your tummy?

Mommy: No Peter, not anymore.

Peter: Did God take it?

Mommy: Yes Peter, He did.

Peter: Were you crying in the doctor's office?

Mommy: Yes, I was.

And that was it. After talking about it, he was off to the next topic of conversation. It's only the second or third time that he's asked about the baby since we found out the baby was gone. Why he remembered today, I'll never know.

We also got a card from Scott and White in the mail today. It was an invitation to a Service of Remembering for families who have experienced miscarriage, stillbirth, ectopic pregnancy, or infant loss in their hospitals. The service is next Saturday. Saturday will be exactly a month since we saw the ultrasound without the heartbeat. I would have been 21 weeks on Saturday. I'm glad they are doing something. I think it is definitely part of the healing process, and I think it will help in providing some closure.

I think my biggest fear is that the baby will be forgotten. I'm worried that, in a year, no one will even remember there was a baby. I know that the baby only lived 16 weeks, and all of that inside of me, but that baby was important to us, and I pray that the baby is never forgotten.

The Rhombus

2010-10-15T13:18:00.000-07:00

Peter received some new playdough toys for his birthday, and he absolutely loves them. He asks to play playdough almost every day. That's usually one of the special things he gets to do with Andrew after dinner if he naps during the day. The set came with several shapes that you can use to cut that shape out of the playdough. There is a circle, a heart, and a couple others. Peter's favorite? The rhombus!! I turned around the other day to see him holding his creating and exclaiming, "Look Mommy! I made a rhombus!". I think that officially defines him as the son of a math nerd mommy!!

Proving Mommy Wrong

2010-10-05T18:00:00.000-07:00

Dear Mommy,

I was just teasing you when you thought I would eat only applesauce. See? I ate lots of beans when you put them on my tray! Maybe I'll eat them again, maybe I won't. I guess we'll see tomorrow. :)

Love,
Danielle

Applesauce Addict

2010-10-04T17:19:00.000-07:00

Hi - My name is Danielle, and I'm addicted to applesauce. I used to eat anything my mommy gave me, but lately, I only eat applesauce. Then my mommy introduced me to Pirate's Booty. Maybe I'll become a Pirate's Booty addict too. :)

Just Checking In...

2010-09-29T19:06:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to post and let everyone know that I'm doing ok. Physically I'm ok - still a little pain, but not bad at all. Emotionally - it will just take time. I have plans to start counseling soon, so I'm hoping that will help. We celebrated Peter's birthday yesterday, so I have pictures to post soon for that as well.

Please keep praying for us.

Baby Hazen

2010-09-25T18:09:00.000-07:00

Baby Hazen was delivered at 16 weeks this morning at 10:35am. We were able to come home around 4:30 this afternoon. Please keep our family in your prayers as we continue to process this.

To our family and friends - thank you so much for all that you have done for us over the past few days to help us during this time. You are amazing, and we love you very much.

A Boy and His Dog

2010-09-21T19:39:00.000-07:00

Peter and Homer have always had a love-hate relationship. Peter LOVES Homer most of the time, but Homer doesn't always interpret Peter's actions toward him as love. That makes Homer a bit snippy, and then Peter decides he really doesn't want him around.

A few days ago, a new level of friendship between the two of them was reached. For the first time ever, they both shared the same pillow. It was such a sweet picture of the love between a boy and his dog. :)

A Lesson Learned

2010-09-20T08:44:00.000-07:00

Danielle is now mobile. She's not crawling yet, but she gets around. She scoots around on her tummy, and she turns herself around in circles when she's sitting. She also half-crawls, half-scoots as she's trying to get to something that she wants on the floor. She is sooooo close to crawling - I bet she has it down in a couple of weeks!

So Peter must have left an orange highlighter out on the floor the other day. He also must have left it open. Danielle must have found it. If you look closely enough, you can see lovely orange marks on the legs of her sleeper. She looks mighty proud of her first art project!!

Note to self: Do not leave ANYTHING on the floor that Danielle shouldn't have!!!

Tropical Storm Hermine

2010-09-07T19:25:00.000-07:00

You may not know this about me, but I absolutely love following the weather. Meeting our local weatherman would be the equivalent of meeting a movie star in my book. When we had cable, I would watch the weather channel for hours on end. Peter knows that we turn on the news to watch the weather. I diligently followed the track of Hurricane Earl as it headed toward the east coast. Fiona was next, and next came Tropical Storm Gaston. Another tropical wave was close behind but still closer to Africa than the US.

Um, so where in the world did Tropical Storm Hermine come from? I didn't even get to follow its formation. It wasn't there one day, and it was bearing down on the Texas/Mexico border the next day. Then, here in Austin, in the middle of Texas, we are hit with a tropical storm. It has been raining for almost 24 hours. I have enjoyed all of the weather coverage of the storm. The weatherman keeps interrupting America's Got Talent to show the current radar and talk about flooding. Now this is interesting television!!

Apparently Peter doesn't get the same enjoyment from watching the weather as I do. He was getting antsy this afternoon, so I let him go out on the porch. He stood close to the front door for a little bit, but I could tell he was itching to get out into the rain. Since we had not seen any lightening, I told him that he could go out and play in the rain. He was sooooo excited!!! We don't have gutters on our house, so the rain falls pretty heavily off the roof right in front of the door. He kept running through it, laughing the entire time. He wanted me to run in the rain with him, but I was trying to distract an exhausted Danielle from remembering it was bedtime. I didn't want to make matters worse by getting her all cold and wet. Peter played until Daddy got home from work. Then it took major convincing to get him inside for dinner. He had a blast!

To Tropical Storm Hermine -

Thanks for the excitement with the weather coverage, and thanks for giving my son an enjoyable afternoon. :)

Look Mommy! I made a "P"!!!

2010-09-01T19:23:00.000-07:00

I've been debating lately when to start "preschool" with Peter. With my work schedule, I can't put him in a traditional preschool program. At this point, my plan is to do preschool-type activities with him at home. Although he's picked up on some basic letter recognition and math skills, I haven't really done anything formal with him. Peter's birthday is at the end of September, so he misses the cut-off for starting school by less than a month. If I start preschool with him now, he still has three more years before starting kindergarten. Quite a few of the kids that will be in his class just recently turned 2. Anyway, it's just been a debate I've been having with myself lately - start preschool now or wait another year.

Until today.

The debate ended today.

Danielle and I were sitting on the floor when Peter came to show us this.

Peter: Look Mommy! I made a "P"!

Mommy: (honestly not really expecting to see the letter P) Let me see. Wow! You really wrote a "P"! Good job Peter!!

Peter: Now I'll make a "T".

At that point, he went off and "wrote" some more. It wasn't really legible to me, but he said he wrote his name.

Um, so I'll be starting preschool with him in October. We'll spend 26 weeks focusing on all of the letters of the alphabet. I better get started finding letter activities. :)

Future Raiders

2010-08-20T13:51:00.000-07:00

Thanks to a former coworker, today we had the chance to visit Cedar Ridge High School, the newest high school in Round Rock ISD. We have watched them build the school from the very beginning, and Peter has been asking forever to go inside. Well, today he got his chance.

He was SOOOO excited to finally be going inside. Here was our conversation as we pulled into the parking lot --

Peter: The new high school!!

Mommy: Yes. Would you like to go inside?

Peter: I can go inside today? Is Ms. McLinden here?

Mommy: Yes, and she said we can go inside.

Peter: (excited) OK!!

So we walk in, and Peter acts like he owns the place. Karen took us on a mini-tour of the campus - I think it would take forever to actually see everything! Peter LOVED running down all of the hallways. It's so new that they are still installing things. He loves "workers", so he was so excited to see some of the workers still working on the building.

We got to see where the food will be served. Peter's favorite part was yelling down into the trashcans and listening to the echo. It was so funny!

The campus also offers culinary classes. I thought this was very neat because it will give interested students a taste of culinary arts in high school to see if they would like to pursue that career path. Peter loved looking in the ovens and opening and shutting the doors. We saw many classrooms, walked by the campus coffee shop, met the campus police officer, saw one of the gyms through a window (Peter was disappointed he couldn't go in and even tried to find a "worker" to open the door for him), climbed stairs, and ran down many hallways. I think in a word, I would call the school "amazing". It really is a neat building, and I know that the students are going to love it!

The last place we visited was the central courtyard. It's an outside area that is entire contained, so students can eat out there, visit between classes, or even have class outside. Peter found some stairs that led to a little wall, and he said that he was on the stage.

Thanks to Karen for letting us visit. Peter had the best time exploring the school he might attend one day!!! Hope you guys have a great school year!

Art Day With Auntie Em

2010-08-17T14:17:00.000-07:00

Auntie Em surprised us today with a visit. We haven't seen her in a while, so Peter was so excited!! He had the best time playing with her.

They started out with play dough. Once Peter was finished, he told Auntie Em to finish making her pizza and then clean up. He sounded just like I do when I ask him to finish what he's doing and then clean up. I guess he does listen after all...While Peter found paper and glue, Auntie Em hung out with Danielle. I'm sure Danielle was sharing some really good secrets with her.

Peter loves glue, so he was very excited when Auntie Em agreed to help him with the glue. Peter and I usually just glue paper - Auntie Em was way more fun! She let Peter glue rice. :)

Peter drew a picture with glue and then used his measuring cup to pour rice on the glue. He had a hard time realizing that he had used enough rice once the glue was covered, so we had quite a bit of extra rice covering the kitchen table!

After playing with glue and rice, we moved onto scissors. Peter has been wanting to use scissors for a long time. He finally got his chance today. Auntie Em tried to show him how to use them, and he really did try. She tried to help him cut hearts at his request - they turned out a bit rough on the edges, but Peter was really proud of himself.

Auntie Em - Thanks for stopping by today! Come visit anytime!!!

***Please note...this post is actually being written on the day it occurred. This NEVER happens anymore - guess that's life with two little ones who almost never nap at the same time. Thanks to the pool this morning, they are both taking wonderful naps at the same time today!!!

Nana's Special Touch

2010-08-13T19:00:00.000-07:00

Right around the time Danielle turned 6 months old, I tried to start her on solid food. She wasn't too fond of having something other than formula in her mouth, so it didn't go all that well. I don't think it was the taste that bothered her. I think it was the texture. She absolutely refused to swallow it.
Peter even gave it a try, but it was a no go. She wasn't ready to eat yet. She obviously preferred her bottles.

Thinking that maybe she just didn't like the rice cereal, I even tried apples and pears. I tried several times over the course of a few weeks. She would take a bite, but every bit of it just came right back out. She seemed to play with it in her mouth a bit, and then she would just spit the entire bite out.

Then Nana came to visit. The day before she came, I tried to give Danielle some pears. Once again, she spit them out. She just didn't want to swallow them. However, now that Nana has fed her, she's a great eater!! One day she refuses to swallow anything, the next day she loves eating cereal, pears, prunes, sweet potatoes, cheerios, and peach yogurt drops (which Peter also enjoys!). I think my mom must just know how to feed babies - I guess after having four, she should know. :) Maybe Danielle just needed a new face to convince her to eat. Whatever it is, though, I'm happy. She is finally eating solid foods which means a little cutback on bottles. It also means that she's on the way to eating table food!

Thanks to Nana for helping Danielle learn to like swallowing strange mush that we call baby food! :)

And Baby Makes Five!!!

2010-08-03T19:32:00.000-07:00

Baby Hazen #3 - Due March 5, 2011

Yes, we were completely surprised. . .

Yes, Peter won't even be 3 1/2 . . .

Yes, Danielle will only be 14 months . . .

Yes, the doctors will keep a very close eye on me during the entire pregnancy . . .

Yes, I am soooooo excited!!!

God is so good! 7 months ago, I almost lost my life. Today, a new life is growing inside of me!!!

No Words . . . Just a Few Cute Pictures

2010-07-24T11:55:00.000-07:00

Happy 9th Anniversary!

2010-07-14T19:39:00.000-07:00

Dear Andrew,

I'm sure that 9 years ago today, when you vowed in front of several hundred people to love me in sickness and in health, you never expected how true those words would someday be. Can you believe it's been 6 months since we were at Scott & White in the ICU waiting to hear something about the problems with my breathing? It's been 6 months since you spent virtually every waking moment either with the kids or by my side, waiting to see if my body would ever return to breathing on its own. I want you to know that your efforts were not in vein - I may not have been aware of everything you did for me and the kids while I was sedated on the ventilator for 2 weeks, but I thank God every day for giving me a husband who was willing to stay by me and do everything possible to help me get better. I heard people say over and over again about how you stayed with me late into the night rubbing my head or my feet to help me sleep, how you played praise music all the time from the computer, how you made sure that Peter was keeping a consistent routine, how you would talk to me and tell me about things that were going on even though I was completely unresponsive, about how you dropped everything to make sure that I was getting the best possible care. You will never know how much that means to me. I may not have been the best patient once I woke up (I'm sure being sedated had something to do with my perfect compliance while I was sick :) ), and I may have fought with you and argued with you when you tried to get me to do something that you knew would help me get better. I may have been more emotional than you expected and quite hard to handle at times. However, even thought I didn't show it, I appreciate everything you did for me and all the encouragement you gave me while I was recovering. I love you more than you'll ever know, and I'm so thankful that God decided to give me a second chance to continue in life with you and love you. Happy Anniversary, Sweetheart. I look forward to many, many, more!

Love,
me

Too Cute...

2010-07-09T19:14:00.000-07:00

Decorations!

2010-07-09T19:10:00.000-07:00

Hot Diggity Dog!

2010-07-09T18:33:00.000-07:00

After the children's museum, we stopped by the Hot Dog Caboose for lunch. It's a hot dog stand in an old train caboose about 30 seconds away from Grandma and Grandpa's house. The weather has cooled down considerably today, so we were able to enjoy hot dogs, fries, and drinks outside.

A Trip to the Children's Museum

2010-07-09T17:46:00.000-07:00

Today was our last full day in New Jersey. We spent the morning at the New Jersey Children's Museum, a place that Peter really enjoyed the last time we were in NJ. Just like last time, he had a blast!! We were one of the first people there, so he had about 35 minutes to pretty much do whatever he wanted without anyone else wanting to play in the same area. A summer camp group came in around 10:40 or so, but they were really well behaved and didn't cause any problems with Peter being able to see and play in all of the exhibits.

It was interesting to see what he enjoyed this year that he didn't really play with last year. He did a few of the same things (ride the horse, play with the giant lite-brite, sit on the firetruck), but he really seemed to find new things to explore that he didn't seem as interested in last year.

He enjoyed some time in the construction area...

Like last year, he loved the firetruck!

The horse was a hit - he rode it twice. :)

I tried to get Peter to be the astronaut, but he preferred me to try it instead.

He enjoyed the giant lite-brite with all of the colorful lights.

Unlike last year, the kitchen area was empty when we got to it. He cooked some pizza and served it to us.

The grocery store was also empty this time, so Peter was able to shop and purchase a few items.

His favorite exhibit, though, was this castle with toy knights and horses. He spent over 10 minutes just moving the people around and having a great time.

Toward the end of our visit, we saw a puppet show based on "The Three Billy Goats Gruff". I had never read the story to Peter, so today was the first time he heard it. The lady did a great job telling it and got all of the kids involved in making sounds for the characters. Peter sat nicely during the show, but I wasn't really sure how much he really took in until...

We were sitting at dinner tonight and Peter tried telling us that something was tasty. We listed off all of the food on this plate, but he kept saying something different. We just couldn't figure out what he was talking about. A few minutes later, he was able to get it out a little more clearly - "Billy goats are tasty!"

He was repeating part of the song that the troll sang during the puppet show he saw earlier in the day! Amy started asking him some questions about the story, and he was pretty much able to retell the entire story that he had only heard once about 6 hours prior to dinner. His retention is amazing!!

All in all, a very successful day at the New Jersey Children's Museum. :)

The Bronx Zoo

2010-07-07T18:49:00.000-07:00

Grandpa took off from work today to take us to the Bronx Zoo. Although it's in NY, it's only about 17 miles away from the house. It took us about an hour to get there, though, because of traffic trying to cross the George Washington Bridge into New York. Can you believe it costs $8 to cross the bridge???

Today was donation day at the zoo, so they let you donate whatever you wish to enter. It normally costs $16 a person, so donation day saved us lots of money! They even gave us a DVD about some of the animals at the zoo.

It was REALLY hot today (hovering around 100), but the shade kept it feeling a little cooler. Most of the animals were out, so we had a good time seeing lots of animals in action. They also had a children's zoo ($3 per person) that had some animal exhibits as well as things to climb on.

Grandpa - Thanks for taking us to the zoo!!

Pizza Night!

2010-07-06T19:25:00.001-07:00

One of the things I love about visiting New Jersey is having people around to do things with Peter that he wouldn't necessarily get the chance to do at home. Danielle isn't always willing to just sit in a swing or highchair and be a spectator - she wants to be part of the action! Having a toddler and infant trying to make pizza together isn't really my idea of a fun family activity, so I am so thankful that Aunt Amy let Peter help her make pizzas last weekend. He had a blast!!!

First he helped roll out the dough. He put flour on the dough so it wouldn't stick to the rolling pin. His idea of "just a little" and Amy's idea of "just a little" was quite different, so Amy kept brushing off the extra flour as he kept adding to it!

Then it was on to the sauce!

Cheese time! A little for the pizza . . .

and a little for Peter . . .

Notice the cheese around this mouth? Here is when he decided to lick the pepperoni before putting it on the pizza. Good thing only family was eating this one!!

He made sure each spot had a piece of pepperoni.

Finally - time to eat!!!

Technically, He Obeyed. . .

2010-07-04T20:11:00.001-07:00

Aunt Kim has a new puppy, and Peter is completely in love with her. He absolutely loves to snuggle with her, chase her around, and carry her around. After returning home the other day, I told Peter that he was not to let Daisy out of her crate. He could look at her and pet her through the door of the crate, but he had to leave her in there. He was really quiet for a while, and then I heard a strange noise in the hallway. When I peeked down towards Kim's room, this is what I saw...

He obeyed and didn't let her out of the crate. However, because he wanted Daisy to be with him in the living room, he was just dragging her entire crate down the hallway!! Smart boy! :)

The Jersey Shore

2010-06-30T21:57:00.000-07:00

I probably should have expected a bit of a crazy day when both kids were awake by 5:45 this morning!!! We had been planning on going to the beach (well, the shore as it's called around here), and Grandpa had taken off work so he could go with us. Danielle was going to stay home with Grandma. After waking up at 5:30am, I figured she'd probably be ready for a morning nap around 7:30am. We had planned to leave for the beach around 9am, so the timing would work out well for me to put her down for a nap before leaving. Um, note to self - when plans involve babies and toddlers, be prepared to change the plans!!

I started trying to put Danielle down for a nap around 7am because she was really acting tired. After nearly an hour, she still wouldn't go down. I was debating with myself whether or not to even to go to the beach at all. She was extremely fussy, and I was pretty sure that if she was fussy with Mommy, she'd be even more fussy with Grandma. Then she decided to throw up. Not just spit up, but really throw up. It's the first time she's ever thrown up, and it was pretty gross! No wonder she wasn't acting herself!! With Aunt Kim in the shower that has the tub, I immediately put Danielle in the kitchen sink to take her clothes off. I told Peter that we couldn't go to the beach today because Danielle was sick. He wasn't too pleased with that, and he kept saying he wanted to go to the beach. I felt bad because we had been talking about the beach so much and how fun it was and here we were telling Peter he now couldn't go - very tough for a 2-year-old to understand.

When Aunt Kim was done with her shower, Peter and I gave Danielle a bath. Apparently throwing up made her feel better because she seemed back to her normal self during her bath. After watching her a few minutes, I told Peter to go ask Grandpa if he still wanted to go to the beach. The weather was beautiful, so we could just take Danielle with us. In the end, all of us (Grandma and Danielle included), spent the day at the shore. Peter said that Danielle felt better because he wasn't homesick anymore. :)

It felt a bit strange at first that I was putting on my swimsuit to go to the beach when it wasn't even 60 degrees at 9am. However, it warmed up into the 70s and felt great by the time we got there. After being up since 6am, Peter was a bit tired and disobedient at first, but he settled down quickly and LOVED the sand and the ocean! He had a great time playing in the water with Grandpa while Danielle and I sat on the blanket.

Then, once Danielle was settled in with Grandma on the boardwalk, Peter and I enjoyed playing in the waves and in the sand. As we walked into the water, he wanted me to carry him so we could go further out. Um, I really don't care to be in the ocean that far out, so I told him that we couldn't go that far unless we were with Daddy. He accepted that answer and we spent our time playing in the water where we could still see our feet. :)

Once we had enough of the sand and the water, we cleaned up and headed to the boardwalk. Danielle put her feet in the sand once just to say that she did. :)

Peter enjoyed playing some games. Aunt Amy tried to convince him to play her favorite game (skee-ball), but he was much more interested in the basketball game instead. He also enjoyed bonking the moles as they came out of the holes.

Then it was on to the rides! For the first time, Peter was actually tall enough to ride some of the boardwalk rides. He even rode them by himself!! He had a blast - it was neat watching him get so excited to ride a bicycle (the motorcycles) and the big frucks!!

We ended the day with ice cream - a perfect ending to a day that started off a bit rough, but finished with a happy ending. :)

Grandma and Grandpa - thanks for taking us to the beach!!!

We had a wonderful time!! :)

New York City!!!

2010-06-29T18:58:00.000-07:00

Today Amy, Peter, and I went to New York City! One of the things I like most about visiting family in New Jersey is how close we are to NYC. We go into the city at least once every visit, and I always try to do something new. I've seen the Statue of Liberty, visited Ground Zero right after 9-11, sat in the audience of the Maury Povich Show, made an animal at Build-A-Bear (the biggest in the world!), eaten a hot dog from a street vendor, played in Central Park, and so many other things! We brought Peter when he was 10 months old and again at 22 months old. At nearly 3 years old, I think he might just remember some of it this time! Our main focus today was to visit a friend of mine that I used to teach with who recently moved to the city. I've never seen a NYC apartment before, so thanks to Brandy and Mya for letting us see your place! We took the train, and Peter loved it! Trains are a favorite toy these days, so he was so excited to ride on a real train!! After a transfer in Seacaucus, we finally made it to Penn Station thanks to a very nice man who was on his way to work. He got on the train in Seacaucus with us, got off with us at Penn Station, and made sure we knew the way to the subway before heading off to work. I've never ridden a NYC subway, so this was a new experience to me.

We made it to Brandy's apartment on W. 71st street with no problems. It was so neat to see where she lives. Her elevator was broken, so we walked up the five flights of stairs to get to her apartment. This apparently made a big impression on Peter, though, because he told Daddy tonight that "I climbed up lots of steps and went to Mya's house."

After playing for a few minutes and taking a picture (which Peter was adamantly against!), we headed to Central Park.

The kids had a BLAST playing on the playground and in the water. We were amazed at how many nannies we saw. I think maybe 3 or 4 of the ladies there were actually the mothers of the children they were with. I'm pretty sure that out of the many other children, all of them were there with their nannies.

The water part was neat. There was a large area with a sprinkler in the middle and then this little river that led down to another pool of water. Peter was a bit unsure of the water at first, but after putting his goggles on, he had much more fun knowing that water couldn't get into his eyes!

After playing, we headed over to a grassy area for a picnic. The weather was beautiful, so we had a nice time sitting under a tree, eating lunch, and watching the kids play. Mya and Peter got along so well! They chased each other around, played "Ring Around the Rosie", and rolled around the grass. Peter didn't even freak out when Mya hugged him!

I love that last picture because it really captures the essence of Central Park - the green grass and trees with the tall buildings of NYC in the upper right corner. It's hard to believe that you're really in the middle of a huge, bustling city when you're feeling so calm and peaceful in the middle of Central Park!

We had so much fun playing with our friends in their new home city! We can't wait to see them again next time we come to visit!

After leaving Mya so she could take a nap, we headed to Times Square. Mya must have worn Peter out because he fell asleep soon after leaving the park and slept for a while in the stroller. He woke up right before we got to the M&Ms Store so he could pick out some M&Ms for himself and Grandpa. Then we went to the Hershey Chocolate Store (YUM! I found a bag of dark chocolate miniatures with plain dark chocolates, dark chocolate with peanuts, and dark chocolates with crisped rice!!) and finally made it to Toys R Us.

After leaving Times Square, we finally made our way back to Penn Station, back to Seacaucus, and finally back to Ridgewood. I walked more today than I've walked since I got sick, so I was really tired and sore by the end. We had a great day, though, and it was so neat to see Peter so excited about all the new things he saw in NYC!

Tomorrow's agenda? The beach!!

New Jersey!!! (aka Danielle's First Plane Ride)

2010-06-27T18:38:00.001-07:00

Ahhh - beautiful New Jersey and even more beautiful weather! The kids and I arrived here yesterday, and they are having a great time. :) Andrew took 2 months off work when I was sick, so he wasn't able to travel with us. Andrew's sister, Amy, stayed with us in Austin for a week before flying back with us yesterday. With all of the stuff we brought with us, I'm so thankful that she was there to help us!!! In fact, she's providing all of the blog pictures for the next two weeks. I have my cameras here (Did you really think I could come to NJ and not take one picture??), but I didn't bring the cord to connect them to the computer. Once I get home, I'll upload some of our pictures. Until then, enjoy the photographic skills of Aunt Amy. :)

The kids did fantastic on the plane ride here. Peter was so excited to ride on an airplane, and he repeatedly told us that he would be the pilot. Well, he didn't get to drive the airplane, but he did get to peek in the cockpit on the way to his seat and tell the pilot hello. :) He occupied himself with books, snacks, and DVDs. He finally fell asleep during the last part of the trip and slept through the landing.

Danielle also did a great job on her first flight. She slept through take-off and only fussed a few times. She's a great little traveler!!

Peter has been playing outside for most of the day. The weather here is fantastic! He has spent time swimming, playing with lots of toys that Grandma brought home from nursery school, playing with Abby (Andrew's cousin), painting, and playing with play dough. I think his favorite way to spend his time, though, is playing with Daisy, the newest member of the family. Daisy is a 10-week-old American Cocker Spaniel. Peter is absolutely in love with her, and I think she thinks the same of him. :)

Tomorrow's agenda - a visit to the family chiropractor (he's going to look at Danielle's head) and a trip to Andy's Corner to have lunch with Grandma Dot. Then Tuesday - it's off to New York City!!!

Danielle's New Do

2010-06-25T18:48:00.000-07:00

The back of Danielle's skull is flatter than it should be, so she is now wearing a DOC band to help reshape the areas that need to be rounded out. She has had the band on for a week and a half, and I don't even think she notices that it's there. It only weighs 6 oz, so it's very light. The only difference is that we can't take her outside very much due to the heat. She wears it for 23 hours a day - it comes off for cleaning and bath time. We think that she'll be done with it in 8-12 weeks, so we're looking forward to seeing GREAT results!!!

I was a bit unsure emotionally of having her wear it at first, but it's really become just a normal part of our routine. A few people have asked why she's wearing it when I take her out, but they seem satisfied with the answer, "It's helping to reshape her skull." I've noticed that it's mostly kids that stare and wonder what it is. I read stories of moms who were upset that people stopped looking at their babies entirely, but we still have many people who stop to talk to Danielle and tell me how beautiful she is.

Because she wears it for most of the day, many pictures over the next few months will have her wearing the band. I just wanted everyone to know what it was and what it is for!

Look Who's Sitting Up!!

2010-06-22T17:22:00.000-07:00

He Saved the Day!

2010-06-17T12:16:00.001-07:00

One of the most difficult parts of having two kids is getting them down for naps. Both still require me to be in their room for a little while, so that means the other one has to be appropriately occupied for me to get the first one down. Our house is really conducive to this working, though, because Peter's playroom is upstairs. Once the gate at the top of the stairs is closed, the only rooms he has access to are the playroom and bedrooms. I guess he also has access to the bathrooms, but he doesn't seem to really care about them. He pretty much sticks with the playroom and his bedroom, so I usually don't have to worry about what he's getting himself into.

One of Peter's favorite toys these days is his train table. He recently started pulling part of the paper off the top of the table, so I used glue to fix it this morning. Well, I totally forgot to put away the glue before taking Danielle into her room to get her down for a nap.

Uh, maybe that wasn't the best choice...

After getting Danielle to sleep, I came out into the playroom...

Peter: Mommy! I fixed it myself!

Mommy: Um, Peter, what did you fix?

Peter: I fixed the paper!!

Mommy: Can you show Mommy where you fixed it?

With the bottle of glue in his hand, he shows me another very small spot where the paper had started coming off. He had put glue on it and pushed it back down. Then he put a heavy block on it (just like I had done) to help it lay flat until it was dry. His last comment?

Peter: See Mommy? I saved the day!!

Mommy: You sure did! :)

Welcome Summer!!!

2010-06-17T08:12:00.001-07:00

The playscape is up, the water table is full, and we have one happy little boy!!

Sweet Berry Farm

2010-05-30T07:30:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, some friends and I drove out to Marble Falls to Sweet Berry Farm to pick strawberries. There were 8 kids under the age of 5 (4 months, 10 months, 13 months, a 2-year-old, 3 3-year-olds, and a 4-year-old). We had a blast! Peter, Danielle, and I joined Stephanie and her two kids in her van so that we didn't have to take an extra car. It was helpful because I still get really sore from sitting in the car for a long time, so I was able to move around and stretch out a bit instead of having to sit in one position to drive. The two boys (Peter and Sam) loved being next to each other, and the girls did pretty well in the backseat once they fell asleep.

The boys were so silly. They shared books and toys and actually carried on a conversation.

Sam: Peter, where are we going?

Peter: To the berry farm!!

Sam: Peter, where are we going?

Peter: To the berry farm!!

(short pause)

Peter: Sam, where are we going?

Sam: To the berry farm!!

Peter: Sam, where are we going?

Sam: To the berry farm!! Once we got there and had all three little ones in strollers, we set off to find the strawberries. This was a milestone day for Danielle because she was able to actually sit in the stroller instead of me having to put her carrier in the stroller. I think she enjoyed being able to see everything going on. She did great and didn't get fussy at all. After she was tired of the stroller, I wrapped her in the moby wrap for the remainder of the day.

All of the kids had little boxes to hold their strawberries. Peter was excited to find the sweet little berries in the strawberry patch, and I was excited to teach him about where our food came from before it got to the grocery store. We soon discovered that the best berries were found by digging down under the leaves close to the ground. Peter picked a few, and then he was content to help me by putting the strawberries that I picked into the box. I guess picking berries out of someones hand is much easier than pulling them off the plant. :)

Gabe, who just turned a year old, enjoyed picking the berries as well. He also enjoyed being able to eat them (stem, leaves, dirt, and all!) before Audrey put him back in his stroller.

After the kids had their fill of picking berries, we carried our boxes over to the cashier to pay for them. Abby entertained Danielle while I payed for strawberries and bought goat food. The boys entertained themselves by climbing into a very small space and laughing at each other.

There were plenty of picnic tables in the shade, so we enjoyed lunch outside. After eating, the kids enjoyed feeding and petting the goats who were in a pen near the tables. They also discovered the donkeys and horses.

We had a great time, and I can't wait to take Peter and Danielle again. We finished off the day with ice cream at McDonald's so the kids could play on the playscape and hopefully tire themselves out enough to sleep the entire 1.5 hour trip home. Um, not the case for our boys. The babies in our car fell asleep quickly and slept the entire way home. The 4 kids in Audrey's van fell asleep quickly and slept the entire way home. Peter and Sam, on the other hand, entertained themselves with snacks and conversation all the way home.

Sam: Peter, where did we go today?

Peter: The berry farm!!

Peter: Sam, where did we go today?

Sam: The berry farm!!

Bluebonnets (AKA My New Son Named Big Bird)!

2010-05-29T21:04:00.000-07:00

For those of you who aren't from Texas, the bluebonnet is the state flower of Texas. They pop up every spring, and they are beautiful! We took pictures in the bluebonnets back in April, but I'm just now posting them because they were used as Mother's Day gifts. Peter was attached to Big Bird that day, so he's in every picture as well. I guess he was my adopted son for a day. :)

Angry

2010-05-29T21:00:00.000-07:00

Angry.

That is how I feel right now.

Angry.

I am angry that I missed out on the first month of my new baby girl. I am angry that I didn't get that bonding time with her that I so needed.

However, I am blessed that other people did get time with her. Some of my family bonded with Danielle in ways that they would never have had if I had not gotten sick.

I am angry that I couldn't nurse her for 3 weeks and trying to get that back is taking so much time and effort. I'm angry that it looks like it isn't working. I'm angry that it looks like it's time to give up trying.

However, I am blessed that she transitioned to the bottle and formula so easily. Danielle is growing and healthy. Because she takes a bottle like a champ, other people are able to enjoy the blessing of being able to feed her.

I am angry that I missed out on 3 weeks of Peter's life at a time where he is learning so much each day.

However, I am blessed that many of my friends and family got to know my sweet little boy in a way they hadn't before. I'm thankful that he was young enough when I got sick to not have a concept of time. He has no idea that I was gone for so long, and I don't think he'll even remember it in the future.

I am angry that my husband had to spend almost 2 weeks unsure if I would get well and come home again.

However, I am blessed that he was able to take 2 months off work to stay with me in the hospital, help with the kids, and help me get my strength back. We were blessed by everyone that supported him and prayed for him during that time.

I am angry that my family and friends had to go through something as tragic as this.

However, I am blessed that many of them came to see me. I have heard many stories from friends and family about people who started praying again, people who started attending church, people who gained a new appreciation of their kiddos, and people whose lives were changed after watching what I went through and seeing the miracle of my healing.

I am angry that I could not hardly move after coming off the ventilator, and I'm angry that my body is still feeling the effects of that. I'm angry that my lungs may never be back to normal again. I am angry that doing simple things during the day still tires me out sometimes. I'm angry that my muscles still ache at the end of each day.

However, I am blessed that I had such a quick recovery and was walking on my own again just 2 weeks after the ventilator was removed. Although I still have some issues with muscle soreness, stamina, and weakness, I am so close to being back to where I was before I got sick.

Praise God for healing my body and restoring it in such a way that I am able to enjoy life with my family to the fullest!!!

Dancing

2010-05-29T19:40:00.000-07:00

Peter loves to dance. He has a CD of praise & worship music that he calls his "dance music". Hope you enjoy watching him dance around the living room - it's just too cute!!

5 Months!!

2010-05-29T17:45:00.000-07:00

Nana and Pop

2010-05-18T20:06:00.000-07:00

Dear Nana and Pop,

Thanks for coming to visit last weekend. We had so much fun playing with you! Mommy and Daddy said they are thankful that you watched us while they went out to dinner. We can't wait to play with you again. Pop, we hope your back feels better soon. See you this summer!

Love,
Peter and Danielle

Peter and the Red Drink

2010-05-18T20:00:00.001-07:00

So Peter and Andrew were sharing a drink the other day. Andrew made sure the cap was on, and then he went upstairs for a few minutes. Turns out Peter knows how to unscrew water bottle caps. Good thing we have a good washing machine!! :)

Take Me Out to the Ball Game

2010-05-09T14:08:00.000-07:00

With the temperature in the 70s last Saturday evening, it was perfect weather for a ball game. We haven't taken Peter to a Round Rock Express game since he was almost 8 months old. I think he enjoyed that game, but he definitely enjoyed the game last weekend a whole lot more. It was so neat to watch him really get into everything that was going on. It was also Danielle's first baseball game, and she did great!!! She spent the first part of the game sitting in her car seat. Then she spent some time sitting in my lap just watching everything that was happening. She slept a little, and then sat in my lap some more. She only got a little fussy during the last inning. Once I stood up with her, she was content once again.

We sat out on the grassy area called the berm. Peter is a part of the Round Rock Express Kids Club. For just $15, club members get 10 game vouchers (good for 2 berm tickets each), a backpack, a t-shirt, and 5 free activities in the Fun Zone. It's a great deal! Andrew took Peter down to the fence to talk to him about the game and watch the players warm up.

The berm is a very popular place for kids to roll down because of the incline. Peter saw some kids rolling down the hill, so of course he had to try it. He continued to roll around the grass for a good part of the game. I'm so glad that we had patient and understanding people sitting near us because he rolled into a few people and almost knocked down several drinks! There were so many kids running around and having a great time on the grass. Most of them were older than Peter, but he had a great time imitating them and chasing them around. It's the first time I've seen him really interact and actually play with a big group of kids.

The game started at 7:05, so that was kind of late for a sweet little toddler who usually goes to bed around 8:00 or so. He had a late nap, though, so he was full of energy. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for him to eat at the game, but he was not interested. He spent a good portion of the night eating peanuts that Andrew and I cracked for him. He would have eaten the shells if we let him - I had to keep reminding him to eat the peanuts inside the shells instead of the salty shells. Peter had his first bite of corn dog, but he wasn't too impressed by that either. He preferred eating the hot dog off the stick after I ate the breading from the outside.

As it got darker, Peter and Andrew enjoyed the game and Danielle enjoyed being outside. Sometime towards the end of the game, Peter became friends with two little girls (6 or 7 years old?). It was so cute to watch them together. I'm not sure who started it, but they took turns pulling grass and putting it on the other person's head. When one girl would go back to her family for a few minutes, Peter would yell, "Girl, come back down here!". We had an absolutely wonderful time, and I'm so glad we decided to go. It was a nice way to spend the evening as a family. :)

***Just in case you were wondering about the final score, the Express won 5 to 4!

Morning Routine

2010-05-07T13:17:00.001-07:00

This is what a typical morning looks like in our house. Danielle is usually up sometime around 6ish. If she wakes up any earlier, I just nurse her in the glider and we both fall back asleep. Around 7:15 or so, Peter starts stirring. If I don't get to his room fast enough, he comes out and appears at the top of the stairs. He tells me that he came out of his room and asks for me to please open the gate. Then we go downstairs to change his diaper and get dressed. If Danielle isn't on the floor, he immediately asks for me to put her on the floor so that he can be next to her. He always asks, "Please I shuch her head?" He loves to touch her hair and hug and kiss her. It's just too cute. She has started turning toward him when he is next to her so that her feet are on his tummy. Peter thinks this is so funny because Danielle is "shuching" him too!

I love to watch them interact with each other. It is the sweetest thing to see them loving on each other, and I pray that they always have such a precious relationship.

Sibling Love

2010-04-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

Dear Peter and Danielle,

One day, when you guys are arguing about something and not very happy with each other, please remember this moment. :)

Love,

Mommy

4 Months

2010-04-30T19:21:00.000-07:00

15 lbs 6 oz - 85th percentile

26 inches - 96th percentile

4 months already??? What happened to my little newborn? Danielle's personality is really starting to show through. She's so easy going, and she is a people-watcher just like her big brother. She is really starting to "talk" to us and laugh, and it's so much fun to interact with her!

Happy 4 month birthday sweet girl - WE LOVE YOU!!!

Just Like Pop!

2010-04-24T12:16:00.000-07:00

Peter and I were at the table eating muffins this morning while Danielle enjoyed some time in her swing. I finished my first muffin, and Peter asked me where it was. When I told him that the muffin was in my tummy, he asked to see it. Ummmm, I don't think so. Then he told me to take a bite of my second muffin and show him what was in my mouth. Hmmm...where in the world did he learn that??? When I didn't do as he asked, he proceeded to show me what he wanted me to do. He took a big bite of his muffin and then opened his mouth as wide as he could. He was so tickled at himself for showing his food to Mommy. Of course I had to ask him to do it again so I could get a picture. Pop would be so proud!!!

When we were growing up, my step-dad, Ronny, loved to show the food in his mouth to anyone who happened to be looking his way. Well, he still does it, so I guess it didn't only take place while we were growing up! The only rule was that no one was allowed to show their food to Mom. I guess Peter wants to be a part of this Metcalf family tradition. :)

3:30 am

2010-04-19T01:33:00.000-07:00

Dear Mommy,

I know it's only 3:30 in the morning. I'm just not sleepy! I know that you would rather play with me than sleep anyway. :)

Love,
Danielle

2 1/2 Years!

2010-04-16T06:08:00.000-07:00

Dear Peter,

You turned 2 1/2 at the end of March, and you are really growing up!! You amaze me every day - you are brilliant!!! Your speech is amazing. You usually speak in complete sentences, and I am very impressed that you often use correct grammar. You have lots of friends, and you talk about them often - Avery, Sam, Gerry, Hudson, Sydney, and many more. Your favorite color right now is green - you always ask for two pieces of green candy (ok, really the wrappers are green) after lunch. Besides your apple juice in the morning, your favorite thing to drink is lemonade (well, you call it wemonade!).

I love how we can have actual conversations. Your are a real chatterbox, and it's so neat to be able to actually have a glimpse of what is going on in your head. It makes me so happy to hear you tell me that you love me! You have such a sweet heart, and it's neat to hear you talk about your concern for someone else. You seem genuinely sad when someone else is crying, and you often try to comfort your little sister when she's upset.

I think your absolute favorite thing to do these days is to play outside in the backyard. You often ask me, "Please I play outside in the backyard?" You play in your little house, chase Homer all around the yard, go down your slide, and spend a lot of time in your swing. You will soon have a playscape to play on as well, so I know you will love that!

I'm so excited to see what the next six months will bring as we get closer to your 3rd birthday. I love you, and I am so proud of the little boy that you are becoming.

Love,

Mommy

A Retraction

2010-04-12T12:43:00.000-07:00

I knew that my sweet 3-month-old sleeping through the night was way too good to be true! Ever since I posted that she was sleeping so well, she has decided that waking once or twice a night again is the way to go. When she was awake at 3:30 this morning, though, all I could think about was how thankful I am to be able to get up with her. It's crazy how your perspective changes once you go through such a huge life-changing experience.

Someday she'll sleep through the night again. Until then, I'll enjoy every waking moment with my precious little girl.

3 Months!

2010-04-04T16:57:00.000-07:00

Dear Danielle,

I can't believe that you are already 3 months old! Time has flown! I am so thankful to be home to celebrate each of your new milestones with you. Your personality is really starting to shine! You enjoy looking at everything going on around you, and you are really starting to interact with people. We love looking at your smile! :) You are starting to get into some sort of a schedule with your eating, sleeping, and awake time. You are a great napper during the day - if you are in someones arms. You still don't really prefer sleeping by yourself during the day. Night, however, is a different story. You typically go to bed between 8:30pm and 11:00pm, and you sleep until between 6am and 7am!!! Yes, at 3 months of age, you are sleeping through the night!! You are still sleeping in your glider (although it isn't turned on), so this may change once we move you to your bed soon. As far as eating, you eat every 2 - 4 hours. You take 4 oz in your bottles, and you are nursing some as well. When you're awake and not eating, you enjoy sitting in your rocking chair, playing on your playmat, and sitting in your bumbo seat! You are such a joy, and I thank God every day for healing me so I can enjoy each day with you! I love you!

Love,

Mommy

Happy Easter!

2010-04-04T16:14:00.000-07:00

Low in the grave he lay, Jesus my Savior,

Waiting the coming day, Jesus my Lord!

Up from the grave He arose,

With a mighty triumph o'er His foes,

He arose a Victor from the dark domain,

And He lives forever, with His saints to reign!

He arose! He arose!

Hallelujah! Christ arose!

I am so blessed to be spending Easter with my family - holding my kiddos!! Praise God for healing my body and allowing me to return home to the three most precious people in my life.

Because He lives, I can face tomorrow,
Because He lives, all fear is gone;
Because I know He holds the future,
And life is worth the living,
Just because He lives!

Happy Easter 2010!!!

Peter and his Harmonica

2010-03-25T15:30:00.000-07:00

So Papa John has introduced Peter to the harmonica, and Peter LOVES it! It's a great instrument for a toddler to play because it makes noise both when you blow in and when you blow out. Peter has had so much fun playing songs for people. Here's a video of Papa John teaching Peter how to play. Papa John is taking harmonica lessons, so it's nice that he can pass on his knowledge. :)

Q & A

2010-03-24T21:15:00.000-07:00

Q - Do you remember anything from the time you were on the ventilator? Did you have any specific dreams?

A - I get this question a lot. It's interesting, because I really don't remember anything that happened while I was on the vent, and it's very weird to me to think that I just totally missed almost 2 weeks of my life. After asking to be put on the ventilator, I don't remember anything until the Sunday before I came off the ventilator. I have been told that people came to visit and I tried to communicate by writing or pointing at letters. I think that I was only able to write at the beginning, though, because I remember trying to point to letters that Sunday when I was more alert. I tried so hard to get my point across, but I think I was pointing to all of the wrong letters.

The one consistent dream that I did have while on the vent was about a man and his son fishing. Both were extremely obese, and they would sit in my ICU room every night fishing. They were always in the same corner. I kept trying to tell them that they needed to get another hobby - one that would provide some exercise. I later found out that there was a supply cabinet in the general location that they were fishing in. I was probably hearing nurses getting supplies, and I turned that noise into fishing. I also dreamed that the ceiling in the ICU was made of M&Ms. :)

Once I was off the sedation enough to remember a little, it was quite scary. I still had the vent, but I couldn't really communicate. I know that I was told a little about my condition, but that scared me more, so I didn't want to hear about it right then. During the night before the vent was pulled the next day, I thought that cell phones were going off all night. All of the ringers were turned off, but I was convinced that I heard cell phones vibrating all night. Turns out it was the special bed that I was on - it was inflating and deflating, and I thought the noise was cell phones. I also dreamed that night that doctors and nurses were coming through my room the entire night - they would enter on one side of the room and exit through a door that didn't really exist.

Some of the nurses called the sedation drug "Milk of amnesia" because it makes you forget all that happens while you are sedated. After hearing all that I went through, I'm glad not to have those memories.

Spring Break 2010

2010-03-21T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well, Spring Break is officially over. The strange thing this year is that it didn't even feel like Spring Break to me. As a student, I always looked forward to that cherished week in March that meant no school. As a teacher, that week became even more important as a way to recharge to get ready for the end of the school year. As a teacher and a mom, Spring Break took on new meaning - it was a full week that I got to be home with my sweet little boy. This year, though, Spring Break was just another week. I've been on maternity/medical leave for 3 months now, so even the weekends feel the same as any other day.

However, the best part about Spring Break this year was that other teachers are also off work. That meant my mom spending a few days with us and our family being able to hang out with the Nolen family. I saw Rebecca many nights at the hospital (well, I don't remember most of them!), but I've only seen her once since I've been home. Our kids have always played well together, so we spent the first day of Spring Break playing. :)

After breakfast, we spent some time at the park. It was a bit cooler than we thought it would be, but the kiddos didn't care. They just wanted to play outside!! Mom spent most of the time chasing after Peter and Sydney while Rebecca tended to Jack and I fed Danielle and tried to keep her warm. Towards the end, Mom and I traded kids. Just chasing Peter around for 15 minutes or so wore me out!!!

We headed to the library next. Georgetown has an amazing section of the library for kids. There is so much to do, and that didn't even include looking at books. :) We had never been there before, so Peter had a great time playing in the kitchen area, working puzzles with Nana, and reading books in a jeep.

We were all exhausted by the time we got home, and it took me 3 days to feel better again. However, it was great to hang out with friends and celebrate Spring Break 2010 with them! I am also very grateful that my mom was able to be with us. She was a huge help with the kids and housework, and I'm glad that she and Peter got to spend so much time together. Mom, we'll see you this summer! Rest up for crazy Peter! :)

Hazen Family 2nd Annual Pi Day Celebration

2010-03-14T19:31:00.001-07:00

Well, Pi Day is here again (click here to see Pi Day 2009). Being the math nerd that I am, we of course had to celebrate by doing things today related to circles. I think I'll teach Peter about circumference and diameter next year, but for now, we stuck with just focusing on the circle.

We ate circular donuts for breakfast...

We went to Kiddie Acres with Papa John and rode rides that went around in a circle...

Papa John even brought along his harmonica to make train whistle sounds while riding the train...

Danielle wondered what all the excitement was about. Maybe she'll enjoy Pi Day 2011 a little better. :)

Peter explored the circular lens cap to my camera...

Happy Pi Day 2010!!!

It's All About Peter

2010-03-14T19:00:00.000-07:00

So Peter has been having a difficult time lately with the transition from "only child" to "oldest child." He has been acting out and trying to get attention, and it's getting pretty frustrating for me. I have learned that things go better when he has stuff to occupy his time - he doesn't do as well when he has too much time on his hands to think about how to get himself into trouble! Now that the weather is better, we can spend more time outside. Peter LOVES being outside. In fact, he would live outside if I let him. Because my energy level is just not where it used to be and I get so sore from the outings that we have taken outside, I need a way for him to play and get his energy out here at the house. Andrew spent yesterday morning getting the backyard ready for Peter to play again. Peter was so happy to spend the entire morning outside! He ran around the backyard, helped Daddy weed the front flowerbed, and enjoyed some time at the park. Then we had BBQ for lunch (one of Peter's favorite things to eat!!) and enjoyed playing with the toys at a nearby toy store. Papa John even stopped by while we were eating to say hi and play with toys with us. Here are a few pictures of Peter enjoying the day!!

Spring...maybe?

2010-03-09T20:23:00.000-08:00

So the weather today was absolutely beautiful! It's been a wet and cold winter around here, so it was nice to be able to go outside to play without coats and long sleeved shirts. The kids and I joined some twin/triplet mommies and kiddos at a nearby park to play and have lunch. Peter enjoyed the fresh air, and I enjoyed getting out of the house. Because my immune system isn't back to normal, I am finding myself not feeling well lately - stomach bug, congestion, sore throat, coughing, etc. I am pretty much staying home (except for church and a couple of meals out) to try to stay away from some of the germs that I would prefer not to have enter my body. If the weather will continue to cooperate, it will be great to get outside more!

Q & A

2010-03-05T10:31:00.000-08:00

Q - How did Peter do with you being gone so long? How is he doing with Danielle?

A - Let me first say that I'm so glad that Peter is only 2!! He does not really have a concept of time, so I don't think the three weeks I was in the hospital felt as long to him as they really were. He was kept occupied with his time at Krista's and all of the visitors that were in and out of the house. I don't think that he will remember any of this in the future, so I'm so glad that his age protected him from really being affected by Mommy being gone. When I did arrive home, he quickly climbed in my lap and things soon seemed as if I had never been gone. I did notice, however, that he is now willing to go to Daddy for more things than before. He was always a Mommy's boy, so it's helpful that he's ok with other people doing things for him or helping him when he's hurt.

As far as with Danielle, that is something that we are just now seeing really affect him. Today is the first full day that I have both kids on my own. Well, Peter's at Krista's right now to play with Avery, Hudson, Isaac, Hunter, and Isaiah, but I have him the rest of the day until Andrew gets home. That means that for the first time since Danielle came home from the hospital, he has to share mommy. That's a difficult thing for someone who had Mommy to himself for so long! We have noticed a lot of jealousy and acting out - he isn't obeying at all when I call him or ask him to do something (or stop doing something!), and he is having a HUGE problem with throwing toys at both Danielle and me. I really believe that he is just trying to get attention, and Andrew and I are brainstorming creative ways to discipline when he throws things, hits, sits on Danielle, etc. He really does love her - in fact, he loves her so much sometimes that he is often a little too loving. Then he ends up hurting her. Let's just say that this sibling relationship is a work in progress, and we will continue to be creative with teaching Peter obedience during this transition in his life

2 Months

2010-03-02T18:56:00.001-08:00

Aunt Kim and I took Danielle to her 2-month checkup today. I really can't believe that it's only been 2 months. So much has happened in the last two months that it feels like it should be so much longer. Danielle got a clean bill of health, and she's right on track as far as her growth goes. She weighs 12.4 lbs (86th percentile) and is 24 inches long (94th percentile). After looking back at Peter's stats, she's very close. Peter was also 24 inches long, but he weighed one pound less. Danielle weighed about a pound more at birth than Peter did, so a pound more now makes sense.

Texas Independence Day

2010-03-02T13:56:00.000-08:00

Today we celebrated Texas Independence Day, the day Texas gained its independence from Mexico. I'm sure you are thinking that it's not really a day to celebrate since Texas joined the U.S. 9 years after claiming this independence, but it definitely gave us a reason to have a little fun today. Aunt Kim is in town from New Jersey for a few days, and Papa John also came and joined in the fun because he had the day off (thanks to working for the state!).

We started by finger painting the state of Texas. We talked about the different cities that Aunt Kim has visited in Texas. Before today, Peter repeatedly said that Texas was the top floor of our house. I'm sure he now has a better grasp of where Texas is - or at least he has a better grasp of how to make a mess with his fingers and paint! :)

Then Peter and Aunt Kim finger painted and colored some of the state symbols - the longhorn, the armadillo, and the bluebonnet.

We ended our morning with BBQ for lunch (at Peter's request - he now associates Papa John with BBQ because he's brought it over several times for dinner). Nothing says "Texas" more than a little brisket, potato salad, and coleslaw.

Danielle wasn't too interested in the festivities - maybe next year. :)

Aunt Kim and Papa John - thanks for celebrating Texas Independence Day with us! Next up - Pi Day!!!

Q & A

2010-02-28T16:24:00.001-08:00

Q - Did you feel yourself getting sick?

A - I have been asked this question over and over. No, I really didn't feel it coming on. Except for the pain from the c-section, I felt fine in the hospital after having Danielle. I was a lot weaker leaving this time than when I left with Peter, but I didn't think anything of it. I came home on a Friday. On Saturday, I felt like my throat was a little sore (I tested positive for strep at the doctor's office before going to the ER). On Sunday, I had the chills for a long time in the afternoon. I also felt like I needed to cough, but I tried not to because it hurt too badly where the incision was. By Sunday night, I was having trouble breathing. I felt the same on Monday, but I really thought it would go away. However, it was bad enough to call the doctor and make an appointment for the next day when we were also taking Danielle in for her first visit. We did go to the chiropractor on Monday, and he told me that I needed to be taking iron. I was very anemic in the hospital, so he was right. I had a difficult time taking a shower on Tuesday morning because I was having such a hard time breathing. I should have gone to the ER at that point, but I was still thinking that it wasn't any big deal and that it would go away. By the time we got to the doctor on Tuesday, I was really struggling to breathe. It scared the nurse so badly that she wouldn't close the door to the exam room when she went to get the doctor. This was only 4 days since I was discharged from the hospital with no problems at all, so it really did come on very quickly. I was also on vicadin from the c-section, so I think that may have masked some of the pain from the strep throat.

A Girl Can Never Have Too Many Clothes

2010-02-28T16:06:00.000-08:00

Dear Danielle,

Now I know why you have so many clothes - because you just went through 3 outfits in less than an hour!!! At least you have plenty to choose from! :)

Love,
Mom

When I heard that the baby was a girl, I knew immediately that we had entered into the world of cute clothes. With Peter, I just pulled something out of the drawer each morning. There really wasn't much thought that went into what he was going to wear each day. We had enough outfits to last a week or so, and he just wore the same thing every few days. No big deal - he was a boy. Boys are fun, but their clothing selections are definitely limited.

The situation is way different for baby girls. There are way too many cute clothes for baby girls, and I now have boxes of them in my house. I have only bought one thing for Danielle (the Valentine's Day onesie she had on here), and I bought that before I knew if she was a boy or a girl. Once she was born, the shopping and giving began. We are so thankful for everyone who has helped clothe our little girl. When I came home from the hospital, there were boxes of clothes labeled by size. It's like going shopping in my own home because I had not seen most of the outfits before. Friends and family sent clothes that their little girls had outgrown, and others went shopping to make sure that my little girl will be well dressed for at least a year. Thank you for blessing our family in this way!!

Just an Update

2010-02-24T18:16:00.000-08:00

Wow - it's already been a full month since I was released from the hospital. It sometimes feels like it has been way longer than that, but then other times it feels like I just came home the other day. I know a lot of you have been wondering how the recovery process has been, so I wanted to just give you a quick update. There have also been many questions that I keep getting over and over - things like "Did you feel yourself getting sick?" and "Do you remember anything that happened while you were on the ventilator?". I'll answer some of those questions in future posts as I have time to sit and write. Having a newborn and a toddler are definitely keeping me extremely busy, so blogging has moved down a bit on the priority list.

As far as how I'm feeling physically, recovery has gone remarkably well. When I came home from the hospital, I could not walk on my own. I couldn't pick up Danielle, and I for sure couldn't pick up Peter. I had to really think when I tried to sit up so I could get out of bed. Now, a month later, I can do almost everything I can and need to do - walking, carrying Danielle, climbing stairs, driving, etc. I can pick Peter up and walk with him for a short distance, but I am pretty tired after doing that. In fact, the main thing right now is just building up my stamina. I get tired easily, so I'm thankful to be home right now so I can take frequent breaks and just rest.

Emotionally, it's been up and down. On top of postpartum hormones, I had no idea the range of emotions I would feel after coming out of a situation where I almost lost my life. There are good days and rough days, but the good days are definitely more common right now. I have been given a second chance at life, and I need to just keep telling myself that to get past some of the emotions and fear that I am dealing with inside.

Mornings like we had this morning keep me going. Peter climbed up on the chair and scooted all the way to one side. He told me to sit with him. Then he said, "We are here together. Me and you." That brings joy to my heart. :)

Priceless

2010-02-24T12:52:00.000-08:00

The dog sleeping - normal

The baby sleeping - precious

The toddler sleeping - adorable

All three sleeping at the same time - PRICELESS!!

A Month Ago Today...

2010-02-18T18:07:00.001-08:00

the ventilator came out!!! The doctors told my family that I could be on the vent for weeks . . . 12 days, and I was breathing on my own again. I don't wish to relive the moment they pulled the tubes - it was not a pleasant experience. However, breathing room air on my own again without fighting for each breath was definitely a wonderful result. As far as physical recovery, things are going extremely well. Except for tiring easily, picking up heavy things (like my 2-year-old!), and a few other things, I'm very close to getting back to normal strength. It's so weird to think that a month ago I could barely move my feet and today I'm climbing stairs and carrying my baby around. God is so good, and I am thankful every day for the miracle he did when he healed me.

We took Peter to Jungle Java this morning, and he had a great time. He had Aunt Amy climbing all over with him. I was tired just watching them!!!

Peter, Big Bird, and Danielle

2010-02-15T19:11:00.000-08:00

Peter decided to bring Big Bird over to visit Danielle. Notice the change in his voice when he talks to Danielle and Big Bird. He always talks to her this way - it's so cute!

Our Little Valentines

2010-02-14T18:18:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentine's Day!

Family Time at the Park

2010-02-08T17:32:00.000-08:00

We took advantage of the good weather the other day to walk down to the playground with the kids. Peter enjoyed being outside, Danielle got a good nap in, and I got to walk and get some exercise. I was tired and a bit out of breath after walking to the park, but it was nice to get out and enjoy the fresh air. Walking to the playground and back was the most walking I've done unassisted. Well, I was pushing the stroller, so maybe that's considered assisted, but I wasn't using a walker. I'm still slow when I walk, but I'm getting faster. Andrew and Peter just walked ahead of us and waited for us to catch up every so often. It's pretty funny when your toddler walks faster than you! I'm so thankful for the time that my family is getting to spend together. I will never again take it for granted.

Mommy's Little Helper

2010-02-05T20:22:00.001-08:00

A Day of Firsts

2010-02-03T17:39:00.000-08:00

First Bath!

Ok, so it wasn't really Danielle's first bath, but it was the first time that I have given her a bath, and it was her first bath in the baby bathtub (instead of just a towel spread out on the table). She seems to love water, so she enjoyed being in the bathtub.

First Diaper Change

Don't freak out - her diaper has been changed every few hours since the moment she was born. However, today was the first day that I have changed a diaper. You are probably wondering how in the world I could make it 5 weeks without changing a diaper...

Having a c-section made getting in and out of bed difficult in the hospital, so someone else changed all of the diapers in the hospital. Once we got home, I started feeling bad, so someone else still changed diapers. When my doctor diagnosed strep before I ended up in the ER, she told me not to change diapers because although I couldn't give Danielle strep throat, she could still get strep through her umbilical cord. Then I ended up in ICU on the vent, so of course I wasn't changing diapers then. Once I was home, it has taken about a week to get strong enough to be able to hold Danielle while walking around. So, that means that today was the first day I changed a diaper.

It is so nice to slowly be starting to do things for my kiddos again!!

My Bestest Buddy

2010-02-01T19:51:00.000-08:00

Before Danielle was born, Peter and I were pretty much inseparable. Except for the few hours every morning that I was at work, we did everything together. We ran errands together, went to playgroups together, cooked together, played together - he was always with me. Being in the hospital with Danielle was the first time I had been away from him for more than a few hours at a time. I'm so thankful that he doesn't have any concept of time because being away from him for 3 weeks was hard. He knows that Mommy was sick, but he has no idea that I was away for so long. Today I actually sat on the floor with Peter and played. It was so nice to be able to play with my buddy and just enjoy being with him.

(Of course I had to have help getting off the floor, but that's why I have a sweet husband.)

Danielle's First Trip to Church

2010-01-31T18:06:00.000-08:00

We decided to go to church this morning. We haven't been since before Danielle was born, so it was nice to go back. Peter did great going into his class, and Danielle lasted most of church before getting fussy. Church went late, so we left a little before the end. I was able to walk without the walker, so that was nice. Here are a couple of pictures of Danielle in her adorable dress that she wore today.

One Month

2010-01-29T17:53:00.000-08:00

Today we took Danielle in for her one month check-up. I really can't believe that she's already a month old. I think it feels weird because I slept through 2 weeks of her life and still didn't see her for another week after that because I was still in the hospital. She did a great job at her appointment, and she is growing and perfectly healthy. :)

Aunt Amy, Grandma, Mommy, and Danielle getting ready for the appointment

Dr. Esparza listening to Danielle's heart

Danielle hanging out on the table

Mommy and Danielle - I'm so glad I got to be at the appointment!!

STATS

Weight - 9 lbs 13 oz (69%)

Length - 22.5 inches (93%)

***I also had a follow-up appointment with my family doctor (who is married to and shares and office with our pediatrician) today. It went well. Everyone in the office kept saying how glad they were to see me. The last time I was in the office, I was gasping for breath. Dr. Esparza listened to my lungs and was glad to hear me breathing better. I still don't have full lung function back, but I have some breathing exercises to do at home to help with that. She told me to stay away from people who are sick and come see her immediately if I start to feel short of breath or run fever.

We discussed breastfeeding and the steroids that were given to me in the hospital. After some discussion between both doctors, I was cleared to begin trying to breastfeed Danielle again. We'll start with adding pumped milk to her formula. This weekend I'll work on getting her to latch on again. She did nurse for a week, so she knows how. However, she's been on a bottle for a little over 3 weeks. It's much easier to get milk from the bottle than from breastfeeding, so I am expecting the latching process to be just that - a process. However, I didn't have my husband continue with pumping in the ICU for no reason. I asked for him to do it because I fully intended to nurse my daughter again. God answered our prayers and healed my body - a complete miracle! God can answer our prayers and help my baby breastfeed again. The road won't be easy and it won't happen overnight, but I sincerely believe that my daughter will eventually be nursing like a champ again. I'll keep you posted. :)

We're Outta Here!

2010-01-28T13:12:00.000-08:00

Once I finished all the meds and IVs, I was definitely ready to get out of the hospital. The doctor was ready for me to go as well. After all, there wasn't a medical reason for me to stay. Insurance wasn't going to pay for me just to hang out and get stronger. A week ago, the physical therapists helped me take my first steps in weeks using the parallel bars. On Saturday, another physical therapist came in and helped me walk a few steps using a walker.

When I talked to the doctor, he told me that he was ready to send me home once I could walk 60 steps - enough steps to get around my house some.

Walking those first steps were hard, but we walked down the hallway the next day, and the doctor released me to go home.

Now, less than a week later, I am walking easily with the walker, and today I have been actually walking around on my own. My muscles are still really weak, so I make sure to have something to grab onto if I start to fall, but walking 100% independently is in the very near future!!

clean after a shower :)

walking with the walker

in the car - heading home!!

Feeding Danielle - AKA "The Big Question"

2010-01-27T17:48:00.000-08:00

TMI WARNING - THIS POST DISCUSSES BREASTFEEDING, BOTTLES, FORMULA, AND PUMPING BREASTMILK. IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU DON'T WISH TO READ ABOUT, CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED. THERE IS A CUTE PICTURE OF DANIELLE AND ME, THOUGH, SO FEEL FREE TO JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURE. :)

Danielle was one week old when I went to the ER. I was with her in the hospital for 4 days and home with her for 3. She was doing great with nursing. I nursed Peter until the night before Danielle was born (nursing a 2-year-old is another story for another time), so nursing wasn't new to me. It was definitely just second nature, and Danielle took to it very well.

When we got the referral from the doctor to have the CAT scan done, I nursed Danielle right before leaving home so that she would make it until we returned. Because nursing Peter went so well, we didn't have formula in the house. We had a couple of sample bottles that had been given to me free in the cabinet. I nursed her, left her with Grandma, and off we went to the radiology clinic.

Once we ended up in the ER, one of my biggest concerns at that point was how to feed Danielle. I almost had Andrew's mom bring her up to the hospital so I could nurse her, but I was in no condition medically to do that. There was one ounce of pumped breastmilk in the freezer, so she did have that, but that wasn't even enough for one feeding. At that point, I was thinking that this whole thing was very short-term and I would be home by that night or at the very latest, the next morning. I really didn't want to have to deal with formula, so I started thinking. I have some very dear friends from my Bible Study group who are also breastfeeding. One of the girls has quite a bit of frozen breastmilk because her daughter just really doesn't like bottles. I asked one of the ER nurses if I could feed my daughter someone elses breastmilk. After asking someone else, the answer was that if I trusted that person, there wasn't a problem with it.

We made some phone calls, and Danielle soon had a few feedings of donated breastmilk. Yet another way that people stepped up and helped us. It takes close friends to give pumped breastmilk to another baby, and I am grateful to have those friends.

Another big concern of mine was losing the milk supply I had built up. I knew after nursing Peter for over 2 years that producing milk was not a problem. However, if I quit nursing Danielle, I could lose that supply. I figured that I could just pump milk in the hospital and get it to Danielle so that she was still having breastmilk and I was keeping up my supply. When a friend dropped off the milk for Danielle, she got my breastpump and brought it to me in the ER.

At this point, it was pretty obvious that I was going to be in the hospital for a while. Andrew was able to get formula and bottles, and Danielle was set to go. My coworkers at school have also helped provide us with lots and lots of formula. Again, I am so appreciative and thankful to work with people who have helped out my family during this time. Danielle's tummy also appreciates you!!

Ok, so now I'm in the hospital on BiPAP, a machine that was forcing air into my lungs. The next step was the ventilator. At that point, they were waiting for my permission to vent me. I stayed on BiPAP in the ICU until some point on Wednesday after being admitted on Tuesday. By then, my body was just too tired. I asked (well, I wrote it because I couldn't talk due to the BiPAP machine) to be vented. My body was exhausted from working so hard. However, I also wrote something else. I told Andrew that he had to make sure that he was helping me pump milk so that I didn't lose the supply. I was adamant that he keep it up.

That's really the last thing I remember before they sedated me and vented me. Even though I was not always sleeping, I have no memory from being on the vent. We can talk about that in another blog, though.

Ok, so here's Andrew, his wife on a ventilator, and my only request is that he pump breastmilk. I have the greatest husband in the whole entire world, because do you know what he did? He pumped breastmilk. He made sure that even though Danielle couldn't use the milk (too many meds in and out of my system), he still pumped it. Even when no milk was coming, he still pumped it. One of the nurses recommend this hands-free pumping bra (something like this), so this made things easier. I know that other people helped him pump, which sounds a bit strange to say now, but I was so out of it during those 2 weeks in the ICU, I'll never know who pumped and who didn't. I just know that my husband was faithful to do something that I asked him to do, however strange people thought it might be. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person to ever be on a ventilator in the ICU pumping breastmilk.

You can see the breastpump on the left and the tubes for the ventilator on the right. Rebecca - thanks for not actually putting me in the picture. :)

Ok, so the big question is where are we with pumping and breastfeeding today? It's one of the questions that people are asking, so I figured that I would just answer it. For those of you still reading and wondering why I'm sharing information that seems just a bit personal, I'll tell you. Once you spend 3 weeks in a hospital, 2 of those weeks in ICU on a vent where everyone knows all of your business, you really don't have personal secrets anymore. :)

So today Danielle is still on formula. In fact, I got to feed her for the first time in weeks the other day. Although I would rather have been nursing her, I am thankful to be able to hold her bottle and feed her in my arms. I am still pumping. Now that I am off all meds, I am getting some milk. It's by no means enough for Danielle to go off formula. My supply will need to be built up. One of the best ways to do that is to actually breastfeed again, and we are almost at that point.

I was on steroids for 11 days. Danielle can't have any milk with steroids in it, and we're not 100% sure at this point if those steroids are out of my system. Danielle and I both have appointments with our doctors on Friday, so we're going to talk to our pediatrician and our family doctor (they are married and share an office) to make sure my milk supply is clean. Once we know it is, we will return to nursing. I will do whatever it takes to build that milk supply back up, and hopefully we will return to nursing just as before.

Once again, this illness changed the way I wanted to do things. However, my husband was incredible to keep pumping for me through this whole thing, and I am so thankful for him. I have a healthy baby girl who took well to formula and is well fed. And I am here to be with both of them.

Kara Signing In

2010-01-25T15:51:00.000-08:00

So I finally get to take my blog back over - it's good to be back!!! When Rebecca told me that I could add her as an administrator so that she could add a picture of the baby once she was born, I thought that was a great idea. Little did I know what would really end up happening...

This whole experience has given me so many things to process. At this point, typing still takes a bit longer than it used to, but the only way to regain all of the strength that I had previously is to practice, practice, practice. Blogging through a lot of this will help me to process so much of what has happened over the last three weeks.

It's hard to believe that exactly 3 weeks ago today was the day I entered the hospital. Today I am home, holding my children, and working on regaining all of the strength that I lost from being on the vent for nearly 2 weeks with basically no movement. It's amazing how quickly you lose muscles that aren't used.

Since coming home on Sunday, I've gotten to read with my little boy and hold my sweet little girl for the first time in almost 3 weeks. Just holding my kids is a miracle in itself. Praise God for giving me a second chance to be mom!

Rebecca Signing Out

2010-01-24T16:12:00.000-08:00

(Hey guys, it's Rebecca)

I just got that call I had been waiting for... the one I knew would happen.

I'm done.

Over.

Complete.

Finished.

No more Rebecca posts.

Sigh.

It's like that in these hard economic times. You get a gig doing something while someone's on maternity leave. They have this near-death experience and you think, "wow, I'm gonna go full time" and then against all odds, they have this miraculous healing. Then you think, "well, the recovery time for this sort of thing is long and arduous, I'll be around for a while." No, less than a week and I get that call.

Kara's going home.

And she wants her blog back.

I have never been so happy to not be needed.

Bible Study Group

2010-01-23T17:40:00.000-08:00

(Hey guys, it's Rebecca)

But guess who e-mailed me these pictures?

That's right, Kara did!

This is what she wrote: "These are pics from bible study thurs night. Could you blog the 2nd 2 pics? One is our group and one is us praying. Typing this took forever."

But the point is, obviously, that she did type it and her strength is slowly returning. Praise God!

This is her Bible Study group:

These ladies have been so faithful to Kara, coming up to the hospital, helping to organize meals for her family and playdates for Peter. And of course, praying for her, over her, and now, with her.

Baby Steps

2010-01-22T20:44:00.000-08:00

(Hey guys, Rebecca again)

I went up to see Kara and she was so excited because not only had she actually gotten out of bed (with help), but she had gotten a shower and actually felt a little bit of fresh air on her way to physical therapy this morning.

Can you believe that less than a week ago, she couldn't even breathe on her own?

Right now, Kara is very focused on getting stronger as fast as possible so that she can get home and finish her recovery.

They are definitely staying at the hospital through the weekend and early next week the doctor will decide if she needs to stay in the hospital longer (not likely), go to a rehab facility (possible), or if she can go straight home (which, as she says, if she's strong enough to do it, would be ideal).

And for those of you who have been patiently waiting, Kara says this weekend would be a great time to stop by for a quick visit. Her spirits have been staying pretty high, but I know some company would help keep her motivated and feeling good.

Quilt

2010-01-21T23:02:00.000-08:00

(Hey guys, Rebecca here)

Kara wanted me to post these pictures of her (in her fancy new not-ICU room) with her new quilt.

It turns out that there is a group of quilters at the church and they get together each week and make these quilts, pray over them, and then deliver them to folks.

They brought Kara's up to the hospital and she just loves it. What a beautiful way to give someone peace and warmth.

I had the chance to meet Kara's Aunt Becky this past week when she was up here helping with Peter and Danielle. I know I'm partial to all "Aunt Becky's" since I am one and all, but Kara's Aunt Becky is so sweet and easy to talk to and I just really liked her. During our conversation, Aunt Becky and I were talking about all of Kara's friends and Aunt Becky said something like, "I had no idea Kara had so many friends. I mean, I know she's really sweet and personable, but I just didn't know she had so many friends."

When I repeated that to her, Kara said, "I didn't either." And somehow, I thought that was even sweeter. That Kara is just out there being friendly with folks and not realizing how many think so well of her.

But really, in talking to Kara, it's clear that she is so thankful and amazed by the out-pouring of support, well-wishes, and prayer. So for all of you who are reading the blog, know that Kara is appreciative of everything and that it is really helping to keep her spirits up to realize just how many people love her and care about her.

Update on Kara

2010-01-20T14:46:00.000-08:00

(Hey guys, Rebecca here)

I am thrilled to report that Kara told me to make this post.

(See, I didn't actually get fired, yet, I was just demoted from lead reporter to personal typist.)

I have here the one and only Kara in ICU picture. And now we can't get another because she's in a regular room!

She is still very tired and weak and will need to build up quite a bit of lost strength (hence the needing the personal typist). But the physical therapist, occupational therapist and Coach Andrew are working her very hard, and every day is a little bit better. Pretty soon, she'll be able to do exciting things like hold the cell phone to her ear and talk to people without assistance. For now, she's working hard and trying to sleep when she can, but she's looking forward to later in the week when she'll be able to really visit with people and catch up on all she's missed.

Pray for continued improvement, for strength, and for perseverance as physical therapy is nothing to sneeze at and as far I understand, even sneezing is a little painful right now.

Danielle's First Bath

2010-01-18T12:46:00.000-08:00

(Hey guys, Rebecca again)

I'm double posting today because I'm a little worried about my job security. That's right, I'm pretty sure I'm about to get fired.

And I couldn't be happier!

Because of course that means that Kara will be back to managing her own blog and won't need me to help with it any more.

For now, though, I wanted to get her all caught up so that means posting about Danielle's first bath.

I love that Mrs. Hazen let Peter help. Nothing builds that sibling bond like letting big brother be of assistance in any way he can.

Hospital update: Today Kara got off of the vent and they were able to remove the feeding tube as well!!!
That's right, from unconscious and needing a ventilator to live to breathing on her own in just a few days. I think a lot of people are talking about how wonderful it is and about the steroids the doctor's used and about Kara herself and her strong spirit, but I know Kara would want everyone to take a minute and offer a pray of praise and thanksgiving to the One who really healed her, who enabled the steroids to do their job, who gave her this spirit of strength. So many people have been praying for Kara's healing and I want to make sure that God is given the glory in this, that we thank Him for His healing, for answering prayers.

Thank you, Lord!

More Danielle + Peter + Family pics

2010-01-18T11:57:00.000-08:00

(Hey guys, it's Rebecca again)

I have a lot of pictures to post today. I knew that in the grandparent's post, I hadn't gotten any pictures of Diana and I really hated that because she has spent so much time with the kids, sleeping over at the house to get up with Danielle so finally I found some good pictures of her with the kids and wanted to post those. I also found some great-grandparents and aunts (oddly, no uncles, but I think that's because Jonathan and Brian are so far away). So here's the rest of the family + Danielle and Peter pictures. I hope I got everyone's name right.

Okay, I really think that these are the Beeler's, Kara's Austin area grandparents. Someone chime in if I'm wrong.

These are Cathy's parents from the Houston area.

Diana (Kara's amazing stepmom)

Andrew's sister, Aunt Kim, from New Jersey

Aunt Mary (actually Danielle's Great Aunt)

Auntie Em (Kara's sister Emma)

What a Guy

2010-01-17T16:18:00.000-08:00

(Hey guys, Rebecca again)

I know the last few weeks have been filled with unexpected events and new transitions for Peter, and from all reports, he's handling it well. But I am certain that the reason for that is his Daddy.

Throughout the time that Kara has been in the hospital, Andrew has been committed to a daily routine that starts each day having breakfast with Peter and ends each day having dinner with him and helping put him to bed as well.

I know those two meals have anchored Peter's day and allow him to have predictable time with at least one of his parent's daily. But I also want to really express what that means for Andrew, mostly because I know Kara will want to know how amazing her husband has been through all of this.

He wakes up every morning around seven to fix and eat with Peter and then he heads off to the hospital. He spends the day at the hospital, looking over Kara, waiting to see if she'll wake up, and handling all of her daily pumping to keep up her breastmilk supply (which was an important request Kara made of Andrew before agreeing to go on the vent). Andrew leaves the hospital around four or five to come home for Peter and Danielle. He eats dinner with Peter, bathes him, puts him to bed and might have time to hold Danielle and feed her a bottle while he's there. After Peter is asleep, around 8 o'clock, Andrew returns to the hospital to spend the evening with Kara, staying until her last pumping session of the night, often at midnight or even (depending on how the day went and when the times fall) one in the morning. Then he goes home to sleep so he can do it all over again the next day.

So I wanted to share the picture of Andrew having breakfast with Peter, but I also wanted the share what that picture really means as a snapshot of his day.

Hospital update: Yesterday (Saturday), Kara showed her first real sign of coming off of this "plateau" she has been on. Her chest x-ray looked better (you could actually see part of her diaphragm and previous x-rays had shown lungs so full of fluid that they were opaque) and the oxygen level on the vent is now 40, not 55 as it has been, which basically means Kara is that much closer to breathing on her own. Andrew said today her eyes were wide open and that when the doctor came in, he seemed pleased and said that things are headed in the right direction.

Playdate with Jake

2010-01-15T21:30:00.000-08:00

(Hey all, Rebecca here)

First of all, how precious is this little girl? I cannot believe all that hair, that button nose, and how very much she looks like her mama. Sigh.

Dragging myself away from the sweet baby pictures....

Jessica was kind enough to send me these pictures she took today when she and her son, Jake went over to the Hazen's to drop off some stuff from Ridgeview.

I am pretty sure this is Jake looking over a very sleepy Danielle. I have heard that she sleeps really well, especially in her glider (which I think this is). I had not heard that she was able to sleep through the sounds of visitors coming and going and toddlers playing. What a blessing!

Peter posing for a picture with his little sister. Once again, obviously adults are chatting in the background and Peter's right there behind her and this little angel slumbers on.

Thanks again, Jessica, for sending me pictures!

Hospital update: Kara is mostly the same. The doctor's want to give the steroids (which they started Wednesday morning) a full 72 hours to work before doing anything else. They have lightened her sedation and she "comes to the surface" at times. She can look around and although she cannot talk, or even really nod her head, you can see "her" in her eyes. Andrew said she was having one of those semi-lucid moments today and was able to squeeze his hand.

Also, if you want more information, you can click here to go to the Facebook page that Andrew's sister Kim set up. Which is, at this time, at 230 members. That's right folks, 230 people praying for Kara, Andrew, Peter and Danielle. God is good and we know He hears us.

A Family Tradition Continued

2010-01-14T17:26:00.000-08:00

(Hey all, Rebecca here)

I have been meeting a lot of amazing people who love Kara, Andrew, Peter and Danielle. Really. I cannot believe how many people are doing so many things for the Hazens right now. But the person I want to express my admiration for today is Kara's mother-in-law.

I know how much Kara likes things to be done a certain way and not only is Mrs. Hazen caring for Peter and Danielle with loving attention, she is taking the time to do things just because Kara would want them done.

My example?

I don't know how many of you remember the pictures Kara used to take of Peter and Cookie Monster, but if you click here (or here, here,here, here or here) you can go back and see them. Anyway, apparently Kara had a plan to do something similar with Danielle, only using Big Bird instead.

So of course, Mrs. Hazen did just that.

It was such a cute idea when Kara did it with Peter and I know she is going to be so grateful that it was started for Danielle as well.

Mohawk

2010-01-13T20:27:00.000-08:00

(Hey guys, Rebecca here)

Peter went to Krista's (his regular sitter) house today so that Andrew and his mom could both take Danielle to her doctor's visit. Danielle is now two weeks old and weighs 9 pounds even (that's up from 8 pounds 5 ounces last week) and grew a half an inch. The doctor said she was absolutely perfect.

Actually, the doctor only gave length and weight and I made up the part about her being absolutely perfect, but she is, so there.

Peter had a great time with Krista and she gave him a little Mohawk, which was super cute.

Andrew said that Peter has also learned to correctly drink out of a bottle like this... apparently he used to put his mouth around the entire top and that led to some messes. Andrew told Peter that this is kiwi strawberry, Daddy's favorite.

Peter response? "It's Peter's favorite."

Hospital update: Kara has her new bed which inflates to put her on a 40 degree angle on either side and will help with the side effects of being relatively motionless for so long. Her heart rate was around 100, much improved, and her respiration rate, at least while I was there, was around 30. They have started the steroids and are now waiting to see what impact they have on Kara.

Playdate with Sydney

2010-01-12T18:47:00.000-08:00

(Rebecca here)

I have some other pictures from the house, but today I wanted to post the pictures of Peter's playdate with my daughter. We went to the outlet mall to ride the rides.

Peter is such a thoughtful guy. Sydney kept lagging behind and Peter would turn to look for her and call for her to catch up. Super cute!

At one point, Peter's grandma had ducked into the shoe store while I watched the kids ride rides and Peter was a little anxious about her leaving, so we had to follow. Once in the store, having found his grandma, he was happy to run a muck with Sydney. I always wonder why the shoe store people have to double check to make sure you have two shoes of the same size in the box. How would they get mixed up, I wondered.

Having watched two toddlers in a shoe store for all of five minutes, I can totally answer that question now. I hope these shoe store people are the kind that check.

This is my favorite. I have grown so accustomed to a certain little miss who will not, can not, you can't make her smile that I have stopped asking. So I took this picture of Peter and then Cathy says, "Oh, Peter smile" and then had me take another.

"Isn't that better?" Cathy asked.

Well, of course it is. I just forgot other people's kids will do this. Such a sweetie.

And finishing up the hospital pictures...

2010-01-11T20:47:00.000-08:00

(Hey all, Rebecca here)

I decided to go ahead and post the rest of the hospital pictures because I am starting to get some really good ones from the house and I am anxious to post those as well.

But as Andrew says, I can't post them all at once. I have to leave you folks hanging just a bit, ready for more. (So blame him if you are all, why in the world won't she just post all the pictures already. Then again, Andrew is also threatening to copyright all of the pictures and charge a usage fee and I'm pretty sure that was a joke, so maybe the other was as well.)

Before the c-section

Danielle's first doll, a present from her big brother

My favorite picture of Kara and Danielle

Danielle ready to come home

The family, ready to come home

Adjustment

2010-01-11T20:40:00.000-08:00

(Hey all, Rebecca again)

See, you think this post is about the adjustment of having Kara away, but no, it's about Danielle's first chiropractic visit.

Really, I'm just going to let the pictures speak for themselves because I don't know much about chiropractic care, but I do know that Kara and Andrew thought it was really special that Danielle had her first visit from the chiropractor (who is, I believe, also a good family friend) in the hospital.

Big Brother

2010-01-10T16:34:00.000-08:00

(Hey all, Rebecca here)

Today I have pictures of Peter and Danielle.

I think one of the biggest concerns any mother has when she is expecting her second (or later) child is how the birth of the new baby will affect the child(ren) at home.

From what I hear, Peter is doing great! He had a couple of moments when Kara was home where she was nursing Danielle and he wanted to be held, too, but after some mommy-snuggles, he was happy to leave her nursing and he would go off and play.

This is (I believe) Peter and Danielle's first meeting. After seeing this picture, I thought to myself, Why didn't I take my boppy to the hospital? I had such struggles getting comfortable nursing in the hospital and then I would come home with the boppy and do fine. Yet, it never occurred to me to bring it up to the hospital. Kara is so practical.

Anyway, Peter likes to hold Danielle with the boppy pillow.

This is at the house. I think this is Friday, when Danielle first came home from the hospital. Again, see the use of the boppy.

Here Peter is helping his grandma feed Danielle a bottle. I love that he has such a helpful spirit about him.
A close up of big brother and little sister. How sweet is it that she is sleeping on his lap?

Hospital update: Kara is doing about the same. Her heart rate and respiration rate had come down some yesterday, but are still higher than the doctors would like to see. The word we keep hearing is "plateau" as in she has reached a plateau everything is staying about the same. The hope is that after a few days of "plateauing," she will start getting better, but the bottom line is that we are very grateful that she is not getting any worse and will take a plateau over a worsening condition any day. Keep praying!