Danielle's First Trip to Church

We decided to go to church this morning. We haven't been since before Danielle was born, so it was nice to go back. Peter did great going into his class, and Danielle lasted most of church before getting fussy. Church went late, so we left a little before the end. I was able to walk without the walker, so that was nice. Here are a couple of pictures of Danielle in her adorable dress that she wore today.

One Month

Today we took Danielle in for her one month check-up. I really can't believe that she's already a month old. I think it feels weird because I slept through 2 weeks of her life and still didn't see her for another week after that because I was still in the hospital. She did a great job at her appointment, and she is growing and perfectly healthy. :)

Aunt Amy, Grandma, Mommy, and Danielle getting ready for the appointment

Dr. Esparza listening to Danielle's heart

Danielle hanging out on the table

Mommy and Danielle - I'm so glad I got to be at the appointment!!

STATS

Weight - 9 lbs 13 oz (69%)

Length - 22.5 inches (93%)

***I also had a follow-up appointment with my family doctor (who is married to and shares and office with our pediatrician) today. It went well. Everyone in the office kept saying how glad they were to see me. The last time I was in the office, I was gasping for breath. Dr. Esparza listened to my lungs and was glad to hear me breathing better. I still don't have full lung function back, but I have some breathing exercises to do at home to help with that. She told me to stay away from people who are sick and come see her immediately if I start to feel short of breath or run fever.

We discussed breastfeeding and the steroids that were given to me in the hospital. After some discussion between both doctors, I was cleared to begin trying to breastfeed Danielle again. We'll start with adding pumped milk to her formula. This weekend I'll work on getting her to latch on again. She did nurse for a week, so she knows how. However, she's been on a bottle for a little over 3 weeks. It's much easier to get milk from the bottle than from breastfeeding, so I am expecting the latching process to be just that - a process. However, I didn't have my husband continue with pumping in the ICU for no reason. I asked for him to do it because I fully intended to nurse my daughter again. God answered our prayers and healed my body - a complete miracle! God can answer our prayers and help my baby breastfeed again. The road won't be easy and it won't happen overnight, but I sincerely believe that my daughter will eventually be nursing like a champ again. I'll keep you posted. :)

We're Outta Here!

Once I finished all the meds and IVs, I was definitely ready to get out of the hospital. The doctor was ready for me to go as well. After all, there wasn't a medical reason for me to stay. Insurance wasn't going to pay for me just to hang out and get stronger. A week ago, the physical therapists helped me take my first steps in weeks using the parallel bars. On Saturday, another physical therapist came in and helped me walk a few steps using a walker.



When I talked to the doctor, he told me that he was ready to send me home once I could walk 60 steps - enough steps to get around my house some.



Walking those first steps were hard, but we walked down the hallway the next day, and the doctor released me to go home.



Now, less than a week later, I am walking easily with the walker, and today I have been actually walking around on my own. My muscles are still really weak, so I make sure to have something to grab onto if I start to fall, but walking 100% independently is in the very near future!!

clean after a shower :)

walking with the walker

in the car - heading home!!

Feeding Danielle - AKA "The Big Question"

TMI WARNING - THIS POST DISCUSSES BREASTFEEDING, BOTTLES, FORMULA, AND PUMPING BREASTMILK. IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU DON'T WISH TO READ ABOUT, CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED. THERE IS A CUTE PICTURE OF DANIELLE AND ME, THOUGH, SO FEEL FREE TO JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURE. :)


Danielle was one week old when I went to the ER. I was with her in the hospital for 4 days and home with her for 3. She was doing great with nursing. I nursed Peter until the night before Danielle was born (nursing a 2-year-old is another story for another time), so nursing wasn't new to me. It was definitely just second nature, and Danielle took to it very well.

When we got the referral from the doctor to have the CAT scan done, I nursed Danielle right before leaving home so that she would make it until we returned. Because nursing Peter went so well, we didn't have formula in the house. We had a couple of sample bottles that had been given to me free in the cabinet. I nursed her, left her with Grandma, and off we went to the radiology clinic.

Once we ended up in the ER, one of my biggest concerns at that point was how to feed Danielle. I almost had Andrew's mom bring her up to the hospital so I could nurse her, but I was in no condition medically to do that. There was one ounce of pumped breastmilk in the freezer, so she did have that, but that wasn't even enough for one feeding. At that point, I was thinking that this whole thing was very short-term and I would be home by that night or at the very latest, the next morning. I really didn't want to have to deal with formula, so I started thinking. I have some very dear friends from my Bible Study group who are also breastfeeding. One of the girls has quite a bit of frozen breastmilk because her daughter just really doesn't like bottles. I asked one of the ER nurses if I could feed my daughter someone elses breastmilk. After asking someone else, the answer was that if I trusted that person, there wasn't a problem with it.

We made some phone calls, and Danielle soon had a few feedings of donated breastmilk. Yet another way that people stepped up and helped us. It takes close friends to give pumped breastmilk to another baby, and I am grateful to have those friends.

Another big concern of mine was losing the milk supply I had built up. I knew after nursing Peter for over 2 years that producing milk was not a problem. However, if I quit nursing Danielle, I could lose that supply. I figured that I could just pump milk in the hospital and get it to Danielle so that she was still having breastmilk and I was keeping up my supply. When a friend dropped off the milk for Danielle, she got my breastpump and brought it to me in the ER.

At this point, it was pretty obvious that I was going to be in the hospital for a while. Andrew was able to get formula and bottles, and Danielle was set to go. My coworkers at school have also helped provide us with lots and lots of formula. Again, I am so appreciative and thankful to work with people who have helped out my family during this time. Danielle's tummy also appreciates you!!

Ok, so now I'm in the hospital on BiPAP, a machine that was forcing air into my lungs. The next step was the ventilator. At that point, they were waiting for my permission to vent me. I stayed on BiPAP in the ICU until some point on Wednesday after being admitted on Tuesday. By then, my body was just too tired. I asked (well, I wrote it because I couldn't talk due to the BiPAP machine) to be vented. My body was exhausted from working so hard. However, I also wrote something else. I told Andrew that he had to make sure that he was helping me pump milk so that I didn't lose the supply. I was adamant that he keep it up.

That's really the last thing I remember before they sedated me and vented me. Even though I was not always sleeping, I have no memory from being on the vent. We can talk about that in another blog, though.

Ok, so here's Andrew, his wife on a ventilator, and my only request is that he pump breastmilk. I have the greatest husband in the whole entire world, because do you know what he did? He pumped breastmilk. He made sure that even though Danielle couldn't use the milk (too many meds in and out of my system), he still pumped it. Even when no milk was coming, he still pumped it. One of the nurses recommend this hands-free pumping bra (something like this), so this made things easier. I know that other people helped him pump, which sounds a bit strange to say now, but I was so out of it during those 2 weeks in the ICU, I'll never know who pumped and who didn't. I just know that my husband was faithful to do something that I asked him to do, however strange people thought it might be. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person to ever be on a ventilator in the ICU pumping breastmilk.

You can see the breastpump on the left and the tubes for the ventilator on the right. Rebecca - thanks for not actually putting me in the picture. :)

Ok, so the big question is where are we with pumping and breastfeeding today? It's one of the questions that people are asking, so I figured that I would just answer it. For those of you still reading and wondering why I'm sharing information that seems just a bit personal, I'll tell you. Once you spend 3 weeks in a hospital, 2 of those weeks in ICU on a vent where everyone knows all of your business, you really don't have personal secrets anymore. :)

So today Danielle is still on formula. In fact, I got to feed her for the first time in weeks the other day. Although I would rather have been nursing her, I am thankful to be able to hold her bottle and feed her in my arms. I am still pumping. Now that I am off all meds, I am getting some milk. It's by no means enough for Danielle to go off formula. My supply will need to be built up. One of the best ways to do that is to actually breastfeed again, and we are almost at that point.

I was on steroids for 11 days. Danielle can't have any milk with steroids in it, and we're not 100% sure at this point if those steroids are out of my system. Danielle and I both have appointments with our doctors on Friday, so we're going to talk to our pediatrician and our family doctor (they are married and share an office) to make sure my milk supply is clean. Once we know it is, we will return to nursing. I will do whatever it takes to build that milk supply back up, and hopefully we will return to nursing just as before.

Once again, this illness changed the way I wanted to do things. However, my husband was incredible to keep pumping for me through this whole thing, and I am so thankful for him. I have a healthy baby girl who took well to formula and is well fed. And I am here to be with both of them.

Kara Signing In

So I finally get to take my blog back over - it's good to be back!!! When Rebecca told me that I could add her as an administrator so that she could add a picture of the baby once she was born, I thought that was a great idea. Little did I know what would really end up happening...

This whole experience has given me so many things to process. At this point, typing still takes a bit longer than it used to, but the only way to regain all of the strength that I had previously is to practice, practice, practice. Blogging through a lot of this will help me to process so much of what has happened over the last three weeks.

It's hard to believe that exactly 3 weeks ago today was the day I entered the hospital. Today I am home, holding my children, and working on regaining all of the strength that I lost from being on the vent for nearly 2 weeks with basically no movement. It's amazing how quickly you lose muscles that aren't used.

Since coming home on Sunday, I've gotten to read with my little boy and hold my sweet little girl for the first time in almost 3 weeks. Just holding my kids is a miracle in itself. Praise God for giving me a second chance to be mom!

Rebecca Signing Out

(Hey guys, it's Rebecca)

I just got that call I had been waiting for... the one I knew would happen.

I'm done.

Over.

Complete.

Finished.

No more Rebecca posts.

Sigh.

It's like that in these hard economic times. You get a gig doing something while someone's on maternity leave. They have this near-death experience and you think, "wow, I'm gonna go full time" and then against all odds, they have this miraculous healing. Then you think, "well, the recovery time for this sort of thing is long and arduous, I'll be around for a while." No, less than a week and I get that call.

Kara's going home.

And she wants her blog back.

I have never been so happy to not be needed.

Bible Study Group

(Hey guys, it's Rebecca)

But guess who e-mailed me these pictures?

That's right, Kara did!

This is what she wrote: "These are pics from bible study thurs night. Could you blog the 2nd 2 pics? One is our group and one is us praying. Typing this took forever."

But the point is, obviously, that she did type it and her strength is slowly returning. Praise God!

This is her Bible Study group:

These ladies have been so faithful to Kara, coming up to the hospital, helping to organize meals for her family and playdates for Peter. And of course, praying for her, over her, and now, with her.

Baby Steps

(Hey guys, Rebecca again)

I went up to see Kara and she was so excited because not only had she actually gotten out of bed (with help), but she had gotten a shower and actually felt a little bit of fresh air on her way to physical therapy this morning.

Can you believe that less than a week ago, she couldn't even breathe on her own?

Right now, Kara is very focused on getting stronger as fast as possible so that she can get home and finish her recovery.

They are definitely staying at the hospital through the weekend and early next week the doctor will decide if she needs to stay in the hospital longer (not likely), go to a rehab facility (possible), or if she can go straight home (which, as she says, if she's strong enough to do it, would be ideal).

And for those of you who have been patiently waiting, Kara says this weekend would be a great time to stop by for a quick visit. Her spirits have been staying pretty high, but I know some company would help keep her motivated and feeling good.

Quilt

(Hey guys, Rebecca here)

Kara wanted me to post these pictures of her (in her fancy new not-ICU room) with her new quilt.

It turns out that there is a group of quilters at the church and they get together each week and make these quilts, pray over them, and then deliver them to folks.

They brought Kara's up to the hospital and she just loves it. What a beautiful way to give someone peace and warmth.

I had the chance to meet Kara's Aunt Becky this past week when she was up here helping with Peter and Danielle. I know I'm partial to all "Aunt Becky's" since I am one and all, but Kara's Aunt Becky is so sweet and easy to talk to and I just really liked her. During our conversation, Aunt Becky and I were talking about all of Kara's friends and Aunt Becky said something like, "I had no idea Kara had so many friends. I mean, I know she's really sweet and personable, but I just didn't know she had so many friends."

When I repeated that to her, Kara said, "I didn't either." And somehow, I thought that was even sweeter. That Kara is just out there being friendly with folks and not realizing how many think so well of her.

But really, in talking to Kara, it's clear that she is so thankful and amazed by the out-pouring of support, well-wishes, and prayer. So for all of you who are reading the blog, know that Kara is appreciative of everything and that it is really helping to keep her spirits up to realize just how many people love her and care about her.

Update on Kara

(Hey guys, Rebecca here)

I am thrilled to report that Kara told me to make this post.

(See, I didn't actually get fired, yet, I was just demoted from lead reporter to personal typist.)

I have here the one and only Kara in ICU picture. And now we can't get another because she's in a regular room!

She is still very tired and weak and will need to build up quite a bit of lost strength (hence the needing the personal typist). But the physical therapist, occupational therapist and Coach Andrew are working her very hard, and every day is a little bit better. Pretty soon, she'll be able to do exciting things like hold the cell phone to her ear and talk to people without assistance. For now, she's working hard and trying to sleep when she can, but she's looking forward to later in the week when she'll be able to really visit with people and catch up on all she's missed.

Pray for continued improvement, for strength, and for perseverance as physical therapy is nothing to sneeze at and as far I understand, even sneezing is a little painful right now.

Danielle's First Bath

(Hey guys, Rebecca again)

I'm double posting today because I'm a little worried about my job security. That's right, I'm pretty sure I'm about to get fired.

And I couldn't be happier!

Because of course that means that Kara will be back to managing her own blog and won't need me to help with it any more.

For now, though, I wanted to get her all caught up so that means posting about Danielle's first bath.

I love that Mrs. Hazen let Peter help. Nothing builds that sibling bond like letting big brother be of assistance in any way he can.


Hospital update: Today Kara got off of the vent and they were able to remove the feeding tube as well!!!
That's right, from unconscious and needing a ventilator to live to breathing on her own in just a few days. I think a lot of people are talking about how wonderful it is and about the steroids the doctor's used and about Kara herself and her strong spirit, but I know Kara would want everyone to take a minute and offer a pray of praise and thanksgiving to the One who really healed her, who enabled the steroids to do their job, who gave her this spirit of strength. So many people have been praying for Kara's healing and I want to make sure that God is given the glory in this, that we thank Him for His healing, for answering prayers.

Thank you, Lord!

More Danielle + Peter + Family pics

(Hey guys, it's Rebecca again)

I have a lot of pictures to post today. I knew that in the grandparent's post, I hadn't gotten any pictures of Diana and I really hated that because she has spent so much time with the kids, sleeping over at the house to get up with Danielle so finally I found some good pictures of her with the kids and wanted to post those. I also found some great-grandparents and aunts (oddly, no uncles, but I think that's because Jonathan and Brian are so far away). So here's the rest of the family + Danielle and Peter pictures. I hope I got everyone's name right.

Okay, I really think that these are the Beeler's, Kara's Austin area grandparents. Someone chime in if I'm wrong.

These are Cathy's parents from the Houston area.

Diana (Kara's amazing stepmom)

Andrew's sister, Aunt Kim, from New Jersey

Aunt Mary (actually Danielle's Great Aunt)

Auntie Em (Kara's sister Emma)

What a Guy

(Hey guys, Rebecca again)

I know the last few weeks have been filled with unexpected events and new transitions for Peter, and from all reports, he's handling it well. But I am certain that the reason for that is his Daddy.

Throughout the time that Kara has been in the hospital, Andrew has been committed to a daily routine that starts each day having breakfast with Peter and ends each day having dinner with him and helping put him to bed as well.

I know those two meals have anchored Peter's day and allow him to have predictable time with at least one of his parent's daily. But I also want to really express what that means for Andrew, mostly because I know Kara will want to know how amazing her husband has been through all of this.

He wakes up every morning around seven to fix and eat with Peter and then he heads off to the hospital. He spends the day at the hospital, looking over Kara, waiting to see if she'll wake up, and handling all of her daily pumping to keep up her breastmilk supply (which was an important request Kara made of Andrew before agreeing to go on the vent). Andrew leaves the hospital around four or five to come home for Peter and Danielle. He eats dinner with Peter, bathes him, puts him to bed and might have time to hold Danielle and feed her a bottle while he's there. After Peter is asleep, around 8 o'clock, Andrew returns to the hospital to spend the evening with Kara, staying until her last pumping session of the night, often at midnight or even (depending on how the day went and when the times fall) one in the morning. Then he goes home to sleep so he can do it all over again the next day.

So I wanted to share the picture of Andrew having breakfast with Peter, but I also wanted the share what that picture really means as a snapshot of his day.


Hospital update: Yesterday (Saturday), Kara showed her first real sign of coming off of this "plateau" she has been on. Her chest x-ray looked better (you could actually see part of her diaphragm and previous x-rays had shown lungs so full of fluid that they were opaque) and the oxygen level on the vent is now 40, not 55 as it has been, which basically means Kara is that much closer to breathing on her own. Andrew said today her eyes were wide open and that when the doctor came in, he seemed pleased and said that things are headed in the right direction.

Playdate with Jake

(Hey all, Rebecca here)

First of all, how precious is this little girl? I cannot believe all that hair, that button nose, and how very much she looks like her mama. Sigh.

Dragging myself away from the sweet baby pictures....

Jessica was kind enough to send me these pictures she took today when she and her son, Jake went over to the Hazen's to drop off some stuff from Ridgeview.

I am pretty sure this is Jake looking over a very sleepy Danielle. I have heard that she sleeps really well, especially in her glider (which I think this is). I had not heard that she was able to sleep through the sounds of visitors coming and going and toddlers playing. What a blessing!

Peter posing for a picture with his little sister. Once again, obviously adults are chatting in the background and Peter's right there behind her and this little angel slumbers on.

Thanks again, Jessica, for sending me pictures!



Hospital update: Kara is mostly the same. The doctor's want to give the steroids (which they started Wednesday morning) a full 72 hours to work before doing anything else. They have lightened her sedation and she "comes to the surface" at times. She can look around and although she cannot talk, or even really nod her head, you can see "her" in her eyes. Andrew said she was having one of those semi-lucid moments today and was able to squeeze his hand.

Also, if you want more information, you can click here to go to the Facebook page that Andrew's sister Kim set up. Which is, at this time, at 230 members. That's right folks, 230 people praying for Kara, Andrew, Peter and Danielle. God is good and we know He hears us.

A Family Tradition Continued

(Hey all, Rebecca here)

I have been meeting a lot of amazing people who love Kara, Andrew, Peter and Danielle. Really. I cannot believe how many people are doing so many things for the Hazens right now. But the person I want to express my admiration for today is Kara's mother-in-law.

I know how much Kara likes things to be done a certain way and not only is Mrs. Hazen caring for Peter and Danielle with loving attention, she is taking the time to do things just because Kara would want them done.

My example?

I don't know how many of you remember the pictures Kara used to take of Peter and Cookie Monster, but if you click here (or here, here,here, here or here) you can go back and see them. Anyway, apparently Kara had a plan to do something similar with Danielle, only using Big Bird instead.


So of course, Mrs. Hazen did just that.

It was such a cute idea when Kara did it with Peter and I know she is going to be so grateful that it was started for Danielle as well.

Mohawk

(Hey guys, Rebecca here)

Peter went to Krista's (his regular sitter) house today so that Andrew and his mom could both take Danielle to her doctor's visit. Danielle is now two weeks old and weighs 9 pounds even (that's up from 8 pounds 5 ounces last week) and grew a half an inch. The doctor said she was absolutely perfect.

Actually, the doctor only gave length and weight and I made up the part about her being absolutely perfect, but she is, so there.

Peter had a great time with Krista and she gave him a little Mohawk, which was super cute.

Andrew said that Peter has also learned to correctly drink out of a bottle like this... apparently he used to put his mouth around the entire top and that led to some messes. Andrew told Peter that this is kiwi strawberry, Daddy's favorite.

Peter response? "It's Peter's favorite."



Hospital update: Kara has her new bed which inflates to put her on a 40 degree angle on either side and will help with the side effects of being relatively motionless for so long. Her heart rate was around 100, much improved, and her respiration rate, at least while I was there, was around 30. They have started the steroids and are now waiting to see what impact they have on Kara.

Playdate with Sydney

(Rebecca here)

I have some other pictures from the house, but today I wanted to post the pictures of Peter's playdate with my daughter. We went to the outlet mall to ride the rides.

Peter is such a thoughtful guy. Sydney kept lagging behind and Peter would turn to look for her and call for her to catch up. Super cute!

At one point, Peter's grandma had ducked into the shoe store while I watched the kids ride rides and Peter was a little anxious about her leaving, so we had to follow. Once in the store, having found his grandma, he was happy to run a muck with Sydney. I always wonder why the shoe store people have to double check to make sure you have two shoes of the same size in the box. How would they get mixed up, I wondered.

Having watched two toddlers in a shoe store for all of five minutes, I can totally answer that question now. I hope these shoe store people are the kind that check.

This is my favorite. I have grown so accustomed to a certain little miss who will not, can not, you can't make her smile that I have stopped asking. So I took this picture of Peter and then Cathy says, "Oh, Peter smile" and then had me take another.

"Isn't that better?" Cathy asked.

Well, of course it is. I just forgot other people's kids will do this. Such a sweetie.

And finishing up the hospital pictures...

(Hey all, Rebecca here)

I decided to go ahead and post the rest of the hospital pictures because I am starting to get some really good ones from the house and I am anxious to post those as well.

But as Andrew says, I can't post them all at once. I have to leave you folks hanging just a bit, ready for more. (So blame him if you are all, why in the world won't she just post all the pictures already. Then again, Andrew is also threatening to copyright all of the pictures and charge a usage fee and I'm pretty sure that was a joke, so maybe the other was as well.)

Before the c-section

Danielle's first doll, a present from her big brother

My favorite picture of Kara and Danielle

Danielle ready to come home

The family, ready to come home