TMI WARNING - THIS POST DISCUSSES BREASTFEEDING, BOTTLES, FORMULA, AND PUMPING BREASTMILK. IF THIS IS SOMETHING YOU DON'T WISH TO READ ABOUT, CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED. THERE IS A CUTE PICTURE OF DANIELLE AND ME, THOUGH, SO FEEL FREE TO JUST LOOK AT THE PICTURE. :)
Danielle was one week old when I went to the ER. I was with her in the hospital for 4 days and home with her for 3. She was doing great with nursing. I nursed Peter until the night before Danielle was born (nursing a 2-year-old is another story for another time), so nursing wasn't new to me. It was definitely just second nature, and Danielle took to it very well.
When we got the referral from the doctor to have the CAT scan done, I nursed Danielle right before leaving home so that she would make it until we returned. Because nursing Peter went so well, we didn't have formula in the house. We had a couple of sample bottles that had been given to me free in the cabinet. I nursed her, left her with Grandma, and off we went to the radiology clinic.
Once we ended up in the ER, one of my biggest concerns at that point was how to feed Danielle. I almost had Andrew's mom bring her up to the hospital so I could nurse her, but I was in no condition medically to do that. There was one ounce of pumped breastmilk in the freezer, so she did have that, but that wasn't even enough for one feeding. At that point, I was thinking that this whole thing was very short-term and I would be home by that night or at the very latest, the next morning. I really didn't want to have to deal with formula, so I started thinking. I have some very dear friends from my Bible Study group who are also breastfeeding. One of the girls has quite a bit of frozen breastmilk because her daughter just really doesn't like bottles. I asked one of the ER nurses if I could feed my daughter someone elses breastmilk. After asking someone else, the answer was that if I trusted that person, there wasn't a problem with it.
We made some phone calls, and Danielle soon had a few feedings of donated breastmilk. Yet another way that people stepped up and helped us. It takes close friends to give pumped breastmilk to another baby, and I am grateful to have those friends.
Another big concern of mine was losing the milk supply I had built up. I knew after nursing Peter for over 2 years that producing milk was not a problem. However, if I quit nursing Danielle, I could lose that supply. I figured that I could just pump milk in the hospital and get it to Danielle so that she was still having breastmilk and I was keeping up my supply. When a friend dropped off the milk for Danielle, she got my breastpump and brought it to me in the ER.
At this point, it was pretty obvious that I was going to be in the hospital for a while. Andrew was able to get formula and bottles, and Danielle was set to go. My coworkers at school have also helped provide us with lots and lots of formula. Again, I am so appreciative and thankful to work with people who have helped out my family during this time. Danielle's tummy also appreciates you!!
Ok, so now I'm in the hospital on BiPAP, a machine that was forcing air into my lungs. The next step was the ventilator. At that point, they were waiting for my permission to vent me. I stayed on BiPAP in the ICU until some point on Wednesday after being admitted on Tuesday. By then, my body was just too tired. I asked (well, I wrote it because I couldn't talk due to the BiPAP machine) to be vented. My body was exhausted from working so hard. However, I also wrote something else. I told Andrew that he had to make sure that he was helping me pump milk so that I didn't lose the supply. I was adamant that he keep it up.
That's really the last thing I remember before they sedated me and vented me. Even though I was not always sleeping, I have no memory from being on the vent. We can talk about that in another blog, though.
Ok, so here's Andrew, his wife on a ventilator, and my only request is that he pump breastmilk. I have the greatest husband in the whole entire world, because do you know what he did? He pumped breastmilk. He made sure that even though Danielle couldn't use the milk (too many meds in and out of my system), he still pumped it. Even when no milk was coming, he still pumped it. One of the nurses recommend this hands-free pumping bra (something like this), so this made things easier. I know that other people helped him pump, which sounds a bit strange to say now, but I was so out of it during those 2 weeks in the ICU, I'll never know who pumped and who didn't. I just know that my husband was faithful to do something that I asked him to do, however strange people thought it might be. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person to ever be on a ventilator in the ICU pumping breastmilk.
Danielle was one week old when I went to the ER. I was with her in the hospital for 4 days and home with her for 3. She was doing great with nursing. I nursed Peter until the night before Danielle was born (nursing a 2-year-old is another story for another time), so nursing wasn't new to me. It was definitely just second nature, and Danielle took to it very well.
When we got the referral from the doctor to have the CAT scan done, I nursed Danielle right before leaving home so that she would make it until we returned. Because nursing Peter went so well, we didn't have formula in the house. We had a couple of sample bottles that had been given to me free in the cabinet. I nursed her, left her with Grandma, and off we went to the radiology clinic.
Once we ended up in the ER, one of my biggest concerns at that point was how to feed Danielle. I almost had Andrew's mom bring her up to the hospital so I could nurse her, but I was in no condition medically to do that. There was one ounce of pumped breastmilk in the freezer, so she did have that, but that wasn't even enough for one feeding. At that point, I was thinking that this whole thing was very short-term and I would be home by that night or at the very latest, the next morning. I really didn't want to have to deal with formula, so I started thinking. I have some very dear friends from my Bible Study group who are also breastfeeding. One of the girls has quite a bit of frozen breastmilk because her daughter just really doesn't like bottles. I asked one of the ER nurses if I could feed my daughter someone elses breastmilk. After asking someone else, the answer was that if I trusted that person, there wasn't a problem with it.
We made some phone calls, and Danielle soon had a few feedings of donated breastmilk. Yet another way that people stepped up and helped us. It takes close friends to give pumped breastmilk to another baby, and I am grateful to have those friends.
Another big concern of mine was losing the milk supply I had built up. I knew after nursing Peter for over 2 years that producing milk was not a problem. However, if I quit nursing Danielle, I could lose that supply. I figured that I could just pump milk in the hospital and get it to Danielle so that she was still having breastmilk and I was keeping up my supply. When a friend dropped off the milk for Danielle, she got my breastpump and brought it to me in the ER.
At this point, it was pretty obvious that I was going to be in the hospital for a while. Andrew was able to get formula and bottles, and Danielle was set to go. My coworkers at school have also helped provide us with lots and lots of formula. Again, I am so appreciative and thankful to work with people who have helped out my family during this time. Danielle's tummy also appreciates you!!
Ok, so now I'm in the hospital on BiPAP, a machine that was forcing air into my lungs. The next step was the ventilator. At that point, they were waiting for my permission to vent me. I stayed on BiPAP in the ICU until some point on Wednesday after being admitted on Tuesday. By then, my body was just too tired. I asked (well, I wrote it because I couldn't talk due to the BiPAP machine) to be vented. My body was exhausted from working so hard. However, I also wrote something else. I told Andrew that he had to make sure that he was helping me pump milk so that I didn't lose the supply. I was adamant that he keep it up.
That's really the last thing I remember before they sedated me and vented me. Even though I was not always sleeping, I have no memory from being on the vent. We can talk about that in another blog, though.
Ok, so here's Andrew, his wife on a ventilator, and my only request is that he pump breastmilk. I have the greatest husband in the whole entire world, because do you know what he did? He pumped breastmilk. He made sure that even though Danielle couldn't use the milk (too many meds in and out of my system), he still pumped it. Even when no milk was coming, he still pumped it. One of the nurses recommend this hands-free pumping bra (something like this), so this made things easier. I know that other people helped him pump, which sounds a bit strange to say now, but I was so out of it during those 2 weeks in the ICU, I'll never know who pumped and who didn't. I just know that my husband was faithful to do something that I asked him to do, however strange people thought it might be. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person to ever be on a ventilator in the ICU pumping breastmilk.
You can see the breastpump on the left and the tubes for the ventilator on the right. Rebecca - thanks for not actually putting me in the picture. :)
Ok, so the big question is where are we with pumping and breastfeeding today? It's one of the questions that people are asking, so I figured that I would just answer it. For those of you still reading and wondering why I'm sharing information that seems just a bit personal, I'll tell you. Once you spend 3 weeks in a hospital, 2 of those weeks in ICU on a vent where everyone knows all of your business, you really don't have personal secrets anymore. :)
So today Danielle is still on formula. In fact, I got to feed her for the first time in weeks the other day. Although I would rather have been nursing her, I am thankful to be able to hold her bottle and feed her in my arms.
I am still pumping. Now that I am off all meds, I am getting some milk. It's by no means enough for Danielle to go off formula. My supply will need to be built up. One of the best ways to do that is to actually breastfeed again, and we are almost at that point.I was on steroids for 11 days. Danielle can't have any milk with steroids in it, and we're not 100% sure at this point if those steroids are out of my system. Danielle and I both have appointments with our doctors on Friday, so we're going to talk to our pediatrician and our family doctor (they are married and share an office) to make sure my milk supply is clean. Once we know it is, we will return to nursing. I will do whatever it takes to build that milk supply back up, and hopefully we will return to nursing just as before.
Once again, this illness changed the way I wanted to do things. However, my husband was incredible to keep pumping for me through this whole thing, and I am so thankful for him. I have a healthy baby girl who took well to formula and is well fed. And I am here to be with both of them.
7 comments:
It sounds like you have a good peace with the ways things are... that you being home with Danielle is the important thing and that getting back to nursing is something that will just have to happen in its own time. Andrew was absolutely amazing in the hospital. His desire to honor your request spoke volumes of his love for and commitment to you.
Kara, you are awesome!!! Andrew is awesome as well. I love the picture and am crying tears of thanks to God for this AWESOME miracle!!! (Sorry for overuse of word awesome.... my benadryl is kicking in :))
What a sweet story. I hope your supply goes back up, but your love for your little girl (which is so obvious) is what will matter most, even if the milk does not return. I can say from experience that Reglan and domperidone are not worth it if you get to such a low supply that they are offered. But I hope everything just picks back up for you. Thanks for sharing so much of your story. You are so brave and faithful! I am grateful to see your return to health.
I just love your story Kara and your attitude as well. So happy for you and your family and yes, your husband is awesome!! Thanks so much for sharing. That picture is precious!
You are so welcome. I knew you would want a picture that told the story of pumping in the ICU, but OF COURSE I made sure it was tastefully done. After all, I still have plans on us being friends down the road and friends don't take tacky pictures of friends on vents. :)
you are an awesome mom! I always thought i was a hard core nurser, but there is no way to beat you! so awesome to see a mom who is so dedicated! And to have a husband so willing to help!
i had a problem getting enough milk & found a "mother's milk tea" at the health food store that helped. Even better, fenugreek tablets helped. I like this website for info: www.kellymom.com
I am so glad you are doing better!!!! I love reading your updates & seeing how you are. So glad you are home with your family & able to be there to love on them.
Your husband is awesome! And I am so glad that things are going well, formula, breast milk, either way! Babies can survive on either one and be happy and healthy!!
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